Tapati (tapati) wrote,

Stranded in India With Children

Years ago when my grandsons clothes and possessions were kept by their dad after their visit, my friend Emma sent $300.00 as soon as she heard about it. That's the kind of person she is.

Back then her marriage seemed solid and her husband had moved her to India so their children could be near his parents while he traveled for work. He had a house built. At first he visited fairly often. Gradually those visits were less frequent and for less time.

Even from America I noticed a distinct chill in their online interactions when she was dealing with vandalism and home invasion robbery at this rural home while he was in Australia. He seemed to feel that she was exaggerating the circumstances and her fear. The thief entered her home again and they drove him off. He was later caught. We publicly shamed him into visiting and shoring up security.

Recently he moved his parents into the home and Emma and their children into an apartment. I'm sure he had some kind of reasonable sounding rationale...

Then she found out that he has a girlfriend. Then he cut off all financial support. Their religion had mandated that she stay home and raise children so she hasn't been working outside the home (it's a rural area anyway) and has no nest egg. Nor has he offered to divide assets in a divorce (she's not sure what he has and doesn't have enough money for a lawyer) or pay their way back to New Zealand where she grew up and has friends and family.

When I left my husband I could hop on a train and travel the 2000 miles back to my family. I feel for Emma being so much further away and needing to take a plane with twice as many children as I had.

Her friends are trying to spread the word and raise funds so she can move, get a job and support her children. Hopefully she can get a good divorce lawyer and receive her share of the community property. I know he thinks he earned it all but her contribution to the marriage has a dollar value too. Imagine the cost to him of paying someone to raise four children while he worked!

Here is the link to her fundraiser: https://www.impactguru.com/fundraiser/help-emma-dey
Tags: children, divorce, domestic violence, finance, lawyer, poverty, separation

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