Tapati (tapati) wrote,

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At Peace

I am at peace with my disjointed weekend. In the end, I spent a nice amount of time and energy spread out across all the important areas of my life--family, friends, spirit, solitude/writing, housework, and last but never least, spending time with Dave. We had some good talks and I feel more connected, and we have a midweek date arranged as well. I also fully understand, as I did at the time, that he did not intend to throw a wrench into my circle. :)

The weekend strengthened my resolve to make more time every day for my daily practice. I've allowed my energy and other health problems to get in the way all too often, even though there are things I could do that don't require physical energy. So I am going to make more time for those things I can do in any condition, whether that be meditating, listening to lectures, watching spiritual dvds, playing music and singing, and all other such low energy activities that strengthen my connection with my Goddess.

I spent a little time tonight searching out new journal styles for this journal. I took some pictures that I uploaded today, and finally figured out how to make my different picture icons show up. I realized that the problem was the journal style I had chosen, though I liked it a lot, allowed for only the primary or default picture, rather than one picture per entry. So I searched out the s2 gallery of styles and also the color themes associated with them. I ended up with my third favorite layout because it had the best color theme options. My favorite had only garish or else completely boring options. One other choice was also nice, but not as nice as these colors. Those who know my deep love of purple may be surprised by my choice--but I don't like garish journals as they are not conducive to reading. These colors were more soothing and easy to read against. (Who knows how I might change this over time, so attach these words only to the Flexible squares/Gentle Dawn combo.)

I found myself eyeing oranges too, not something I normally choose. I have been gravitating to the warm colors lately, unusual for me.

You may note some drawings and paintings among my little icons. The mermaid, Gaia figure, and the pencil drawing of a sad naked woman were all created using me as the model. The artist is Heather Lee, a dear college friend of mine. Together we wrote companion articles about our modeling/artist experience for Radiance, the magazine for large women that has since stopped publication. I will often use the mermaid for fat acceptance related posts, Gaia for either fat or religion posts, and the sad woman picture for sad and fat acceptance posts.

The story behind the sad woman picture is that it was drawn while I was watching coverage of the Oakland fires in 1991, while my son was in the hospital recovering from his severe head injury. He was still in the early stages of his recovery and his future was very uncertain. As I listened to people talk about their loss from the fire, deaths or near death experiences, losing homes, pets, and treasured momentos, it was bringing up my own deep feelings of loss and it was clearly captured on my face. I was aching for us all. The actual picture is of course much larger and shows greater detail.

My other icons are drawn from art or godess figures I love, or my little altar icon, which is my primary altar in my home.

I hope each of you was renewed by your weekend.

Blessed be--


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