Personally I agree that at his age chemo would be so debilitating it would probably finish him off in the most miserable manner possible. Radiation therapy won't work, they said, with this particularly large tumor. It is slow-growing but already his kidney is very enlarged. (He didn't report his only obvious symptom until it was pretty far along. ASK your elderly relatives to tell you if they have blood in their urine! It's important. There are other causes for blood in the urine but it's a major symptom of kidney cancer and catching it early means it's operable. Ask them especially if they're having extra back pain.)
He's 97, he's had a good long life so far, so my hope for him now is that when he dies he doesn't have prolonged suffering in a hospital setting. He still lives at home alone and we'll see how long we can make it safe for him to do so.