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15 September 2013 @ 05:33 pm
Talking to Our Teens About Consent  
Thoughts about this: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/carina-kolodny/the-conversation-you-must-have-with-your-sons_b_3764489.html

We should have conversations about consent and legal definitions of rape with both boys and girls. We should also include a talk about being a bystander when someone is being pressured, taken into a room at a party while clearly very intoxicated and so on. Boys who are on their way to being prize athletes should also be made aware of how a rape charge or conviction would ruin their career. Peer pressure to prove how you can "score" with girls should also be part of the conversation. Boys often find themselves pressured to behave in ways they don't even wish to in order to maintain the friendship or respect of other boys or to avoid being seen as weak. (Often with an insult that invokes the feminine or questions their manhood.)

If we had these conversations with both sons and daughters, our daughters would know right away that what happened to them was rape (instead of questioning their reality) and boys couldn't claim ignorance of the law or have horrible regret when they are finally made aware. (That famous reddit thread about date rape had more than a few guys who only later realized that what they had done qualified and clearly felt awful about it.)

Of course not all teens are heterosexual so we can't assume that girls will be dating boys or boys will be dating girls. :)