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28 June 2013 @ 07:43 pm
Ghosts of Conventions Past  

Last month, writer Genevieve Valentine was harassed at Readercon (a science fiction/fantasy convention) by a man named René Walling, a high-profile attendee who told her to stop saying things that "made [him] want to say "wrong" things" and then essentially stalked her throughout the conference in order to "apologize" even though she made it clear she didn't want to talk to him.

I don't know what the answer is in terms of all these guys ever getting it that they can't behave like this, or like the accounts here: http://mariadahvanaheadley.wordpress.com/2013/06/28/but-he-didnt-know-he-was-hijacking-your-ship-on-conference-creeps/

I hate how we have to spend so much effort on how to respond when we are inevitably targeted rather than anyone educating men and policing THEIR behavior. I am grateful for the men like Jim C. Hines and John Scalzi who do speak out, don't get me wrong. We need to clone them.

Speaking about obscene phone calls, this is a thing: if you work on a suicide hotline they'll tell you that once in awhile an obscene caller will masquerade as a sexual abuse victim in order to talk about something sexual while they jerk off. They told us how to recognize them. There were a few known ones in a binder which gave accounts of their usual story lines. My very first night I got one. It is so disgusting to tie up a suicide hot line with an obscene phone call. I read up on them on the internet and ran into a study done that made it clear that the unwillingness of the other person on the line was a key factor in their sexual satisfaction and that they were on one end of a continuum of unwanted sexual behaviors that include rape. So is harassing women at science fiction conventions, groping them and otherwise inflicting unwanted sexual attention on them. Think about that, guys. Get some help.
W. Lotuswlotusopenid on June 30th, 2013 09:49 pm (UTC)
Ugh, on so many levels. I am sick of us having to do the educating, damn it.
Tapatitapati on July 2nd, 2013 10:45 pm (UTC)
I know, it's so exhausting.
Elle: Time to Dinetheletterelle on July 5th, 2013 05:00 pm (UTC)
I remember being involved in a Metafilter thread on rape culture, where more than one guy had a lightbulb moment that rape culture didn't mean they were rapists, and that they could fight it without having hurt feels. Rape culture is not the act of rape; it's the surrounding attitudes that make rape easier and more tolerated.
Tapatitapati on July 12th, 2013 02:29 am (UTC)
It's great when they can GET IT that we aren't calling all men rapists. I see way too many defensive guys intruding on rape topics to say we're being mean to them.