Tapati (tapati) wrote,

Feel Sorry For The Poor Batterers

Inevitably someone will ask why batterers can't find redemption. That's already happened in response to my other post today.

Well, sure they can! I hope they do!

And yes, I feel sorry that they experienced some childhood trauma that may have contributed to their behavior. If they need help to heal from that, learn how to appropriately manage their feelings and communicate better in relationships so they won't be violent, I'm all for it.

I think batterers can and should change and we as a society should make sure there are classes, support groups and therapists available to assist with that--free of charge if necessary.

But, let me make myself very clear, our primary sympathy should be with the victims as is the case in any crime.

We can both have compassion for perpetrators while we hold them accountable.

When it comes to Chris Brown, yes by all means find redemption and go on with your career. But keep your tears to yourself and don't expect us to reassure you when Rihanna is still recovering from the experience. Don't put Brown on an awards show before you've celebrated her career! He doesn't (or shouldn't) need public adoration to convince him he's likable or forgiven just because he's a celebrity.

I've been shocked at how many more people supported Chris Brown than those who supported Rihanna. I shouldn't be; I've long known how most people are more comfortable blaming the victim and asking what's wrong with her rather than asking how could the perpetrator be so violent.

Gosh, I'm sorry poor Chris Brown used his fists to nearly destroy his career and how he used his hands to choke Rihanna as he bashed her head into the car door until she lost consciousness. My heart bleeds for him. We should all line up to comfort him now, even though she'll never get those moments completely out of her head or forget how vulnerable she is. But Chris Brown witnessed violence as a child so we should feel even more sorry for him.

Doesn't anyone see the imbalance here?

I have to wonder, if this assault wasn't with his then-girlfriend in the semi-private space of a car, but instead he assaulted a woman AT the Grammy Awards that night in the same manner, someone he was not in a relationship with, would BET be ready this soon to give him such a spotlight? Wouldn't he, in fact, be in jail even now?
Tags: abuse, celebrities, domestic violence, sexism

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