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05 August 2009 @ 08:42 pm
We Are Only As Strong As Our Connections  
The saddest thing I have ever read.

The diary of the gym shooter, George Sodini, in .pdf format. An article about the diary can be found on CNN.

The diary paints a picture of a very lonely 48 year old man who has had few dates and no real relationships, had a distant father and bullying brother, no older mentors to give him confidence in the dating realm, and a grudge against women who rejected him that he extended to ALL women. He was filled with self doubt and trying to psych himself up for months to do what he did, which was take 4 guns into a gym and target an aerobics class full of women, turning the light off just before he opened fire, then he shot himself. A neighbor's kind words almost threatened his resolve but by then he was in what some have called the "suicide" trance although in his case, murder-suicide. It is curious to me why men like him don't think of JUST suicide but that is never explained in his journal.

Strangely he manages to use Christianity to explain why he believes he will go to Heaven anyway. "Christ paid for EVERY sin." (There's more to it, at the bottom of the .pdf.)

Sad, just sad. A good therapist could have helped him turn his life around. At one point he mentions wishing he had a life coach or someone who could mentor him in some way, but he was too embarrassed to have reached his age without knowing the dating skills he thought all others must know.

Reach out to some lonely, isolated neighbor today, you might just save some lives.