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11 March 2009 @ 09:40 am
Study on long term effects of abuse  
Abuse victims report long-term poor health and depression. Researchers are puzzled by this, according to the article. I'm not surprised at all. Long after bruises fade one is still affected by the verbal abuse that was heard so many times it has become part of one's self image. It takes a lot of conscious effort to try to counteract that.

Also they should look at the sports study of concussions and brain injury.

I am reading some of the coverage of Chris Brown's abuse of Rihanna and everyone piling on her for reconciling. No one gets why it's so difficult for her to just walk away. That's because no one but her is in a relationship with him and in love with him. Without that emotion, it's so easy to see that she should leave him.

I'd like for her critics to imagine that suddenly the person they love hits them several times during a heated argument. I'd like for them to imagine the shock that this person they love is behaving this way. Those who say there should be a zero tolerance policy should imagine this. Imagine walking away from the person you love, the person who previously gave no obvious hint they'd ever do this. Imagine that person crying as they express remorse and promising to change. This person you love, this person you've shared so much with, this lover who is crying over having hurt you so badly. That angry person who hit you seems like an aberration. Surely this lover you've trusted with your heart and soul, who has been kind to you when you were sick, who has supported you in so many ways, this kind person is the real person, and will overcome the anger. Your love softens you and you agree to give them another chance. Everyone deserves a second chance, right? It's only fair.

Love doesn't stop on a dime. It takes a lot of beatings to kill it completely.
Mari Adkinsmariadkins on March 12th, 2009 01:55 am (UTC)
Researchers are puzzled by this

I think I'm going to go throw up.
Tapatitapati on March 13th, 2009 11:33 am (UTC)
I know.

Reminds me of the poverty researchers who were equally puzzled by why poor people don't take all of their funds and risk them on starting a small business. I remember reading this passage and being just floored by the utter cluelessness of it all.
Mari Adkins: stupiditymariadkins on March 13th, 2009 02:01 pm (UTC)
why poor people don't take all of their funds

Good gods - what funds??

It's like people asking wth Preston and I haven't bought a new car yet - and most people mean a brand spanking new car - because we've been without one since he totalled my 'rolla in October '07. One, we don't want or need a brand new car, and two we've tried to scrape up $2k for a used car, and it's just not happening.

I want a job where I can just sit smacking stupid, clueless people all day. It might help my temper.