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05 September 2008 @ 05:39 pm
Wow, the direct quote  
I had tried recently to remember just what my grandma said after my mom died. I actually remembered it a little more kindly than it really was. I had saved the answering machine tape and I found it yesterday. At some point I'll ftp the actual voice but here's the transcript--imagine a nasty tone and a strong Midwestern accent:

Terilyn, you only have one to hate now--me. Your Aunt Virginia was buried yesterday-beautiful...funeral. Your mother was buried Thurs...Wednesday. And Grandpa goes in for "prostrate" cancer next week so you probably won't have him anymore so I'll be the only one for you to hate.

Just for the record, I didn't hate any of these people! I don't know where she got that. The message was left on the actual day of my mom's funeral--Wednesday. I couldn't afford to travel to be there so we went to the beach and had a little ceremony of our own. We came back and this was on the machine. Thanks Grandma. Love you too.

She was wrong--Grandpa beat the cancer and outlived her. I was removed from their will, though, whether by both of them or by him I don't know. I don't think he forgave me for not staying in touch with her but I couldn't take any more of her verbal abuse.

ETA: You can listen to Grandma here.

That Midwestern twang, by the way, is dying out.
Mari Adkinsmariadkins on September 6th, 2008 01:56 am (UTC)

For the record, the Kentucky mountain accent is dying, too. We've all been schooled out of it. "People won't hire you if you move away from here and sound like a hick." :eye roll:
Tapatitapati on September 6th, 2008 02:18 am (UTC)
I think TV plays a large part in it too. We all start to sound more and more alike.
Mari Adkinsmariadkins on September 6th, 2008 12:45 pm (UTC)
It's only been in the last ten, fifteen years a lot of eastern Kentucky has had access to good cable and more recently than that that they've had access to satellite broadcasting. Before that, you had to be content with what you could pick up with an over the air antenna. And, using Harlan County for an example, if you wanted to see a first run movie - you had to drive either into Huntington WVA or Knoxville TN or here to Lexington to see it. Harlan has a theater, four screens, but they still don't get first runs; growing up in Corbin 60 miles west, we never got first runs, either.
Tapatitapati on September 6th, 2008 03:19 pm (UTC)
my home town used to have two theaters but they're down to just one screen as their population has dwindled. We used to rely on antennas and every summer when my kids were little I'd disconnect cable. We got three channels on the plains. I had rabbit ears. :)

Keokuk used to have 15,000 but now is down to 11K. It's sad...and hard to turn around without jobs. Grandma ended up in Kahoka, MO at the end of her life after living in Keokuk and Montrose. She was born in a tiny town called Downing, in Missouri, and a lot of my family is buried there. It's not far from Iowa.
Mari Adkinsmariadkins on September 6th, 2008 03:37 pm (UTC)
Harlan County - total population is barely scraping 30k at the moment. Harlan, Loyall, and Cumberland, the largest towns, are all at around 1200. Everyone else is scattered around. The problem with Harlan is that it loses right around 1500 to 1800 people a year - mostly kids graduating from high school and going off into the Army or college or people just moving away so they can making a living somewhere.

Where I grew up is a bit bigger. Corbin is still right around 7500, Williamsburg about the same. Now the actual community I grew up in? Pop 400 when I lived there; now it's grown for some reason to almost 1k.

Where Thomas and Tayler live, I'm not sure of the county population, but the largest town is a grand total of 500. :o) First time I ever was driven through Liberty, I was like, "Huh?" ROFL
3treekisser: Hibiscus3treekisser on September 6th, 2008 02:00 am (UTC)
+++And Grandpa goes in for "prostrate" cancer next week so you probably won't have him anymore so I'll be the only one for you to hate.+++

That's TERRIBLE. :(
Tapatitapati on September 6th, 2008 02:20 am (UTC)
Believe it or not, I even gave her a couple of more chances after that. I tried to tell her what I needed her to stop doing as clearly as possible.

On the evening of the day we had the Loma Prieta Earthquake she called and instead of just being thankful we were all right she complained about our living out in CA and then accused me of neglecting my children.
Mari Adkinsmariadkins on September 6th, 2008 12:46 pm (UTC)
Lords she sounds like the woman who raised me. I'd wonder if it was something in their generation if her sisters hadn't turned out so markedly different than she did.
Tapatitapati on September 6th, 2008 03:21 pm (UTC)
Yes, it's definitely a choice...

She did have a kind and sweet side and I plan to write more about her soon. She was tiny, barely five feet, born premature in January of 1915. I remember my mom telling the story that during the depression Grandma would wait to eat until she saw whether her daughters had had enough. If they were still hungry she'd give them her portion and say she wasn't hungry herself.
Mari Adkinsmariadkins on September 6th, 2008 03:38 pm (UTC)
I had to do that when I was married to David - because he was that tightfisted. Otherwise Thomas and Tayler wouldn't have been able to eat.

Mommy did have a kind side. It came through in her nursing skills - but rarely rarely at home.