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18 June 2005 @ 12:51 am
Bad news? Just tell me, dammit!  
So earlier "today" (I haven't gone to sleep yet so today means the 17th to me still) the Dr called about my vision exam. But she didn't actually tell my machine anything, just that she'd call back on Monday.

I'm sure my work number is listed in their database.

But aside from that, my automatic response is that it must be bad news, because if it were completely good news she'd just leave a reassuring message, vague enough to satisfy my privacy but informative enough that I needn't worry all weekend.

Maybe the new medical privacy laws are really so strict she can't talk to machines about anything, good or bad, not even a "no need to worry, good news" kind of message.

Well, I'm still reading...and breathing, so I'm going to assume it isn't the end of the world or anything. Glaucoma is controllable now, we'll have caught it early enough if that's what it is.

I've had a long and tiring week, not enough sleep and fighting a cold all week long. Won't go all TMI on you but it's also nearing that time of the month when I wonder why we ever got rid of menstrual huts. PMS is good for one thing though, getting rid of dead weight. I had a troll on my forum. I already knew him as a troll on another forum I frequented. His classic troll MO was to sign up for forums based on a religion he used to be a member of--and then proceed to tell everyone there that they should give it up, stop listening to their leaders or reading their scriptures or worshiping their statues, etc., ad nauseum.

My forum is for former members, so I thought he might not even find it interesting, but sure enough he found it and then started mocking whatever new beliefs we had too, the very notion of belief or spirituality or God. I was trying to be fair and wait for him to violate our rules for the 3 times we usually wait before banning someone. But he was quite prolific, posting everywhere. I gave him one warning for violating a specific rule. He was pushing the boundaries but not quite breaking them, driving everyone nuts in all the active topics. Finally one of the members, a kind and gentle soul in my opinion, actually opened a topic about whether this guy should be banned. I created a poll and expressed my opinion about his behavior and why it was offensive, and invited the problem member to respond himself. (I'd already tried to talk to him privately through our messaging service with no response.)

When I saw that no one was expressing any positive sentiment or any wish that he would stay, that votes were either "yes, please ban him" or "not sure but I don't like his posts" I decided, why endure him out of this notion that I must be fair? He's obviously going to get himself banned like he did at the first forum, so why wait and let him keep filling up our topics with posts that make us all feel disrespected and unhappy?

Don't get me wrong, we have other atheists in our group. But they are not the type of people who try to make us feel like idiots if we have spiritual beliefs and practices. We can discuss the existence or nonexistence of God and I don't feel like they are saying or thinking that I am wasting my time worshipping a void.

Likewise, I don't treat them like there's a spot in hell being warmed up for them...

I don't even believe that anyway. But basically, I feel like we have a good group of members who treat each other with respect even though we have widely varying backgrounds now. What we have in common was that we previously were "Hare Krishnas" as the world knows us, or devotees of Krishna as we used to call ourselves.

I refused to let this one guy cause my members such distress and depression. I used to wish on the old forum that he would get banned.

So, as many women know, PMS is the time when your defenses are stripped away, and you are raw and vulnerable. When something affects you like fingernails on a chalkboard, you are not just going to grin and bear it. You are going to dismantle the chalkboard.
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Current Mood: grumpygrumpy
Current Music: not tonight, dear, I have a headache