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28 March 2008 @ 08:17 am
Pretty Happy Thoughts  
I wrote this today.

Just think positive he said just forget all that negative stuff what a bringdown if you just think positive all good things will come into your life and I think will the memories of his fists recede like a wave to be replaced by pretty happy fairy dust will all women magically rise up and leave their abusers if I shut up and just think happy pretty thoughts and will their children magically forget the scenes of violence in their homes day after day or night by night as they lie huddled under their covers hands over ears wishing it would all go away and their daddy would love their mommy again or their mommy didn’t deserve it the stupid bitch but they are half mommy half daddy so they hate or fear part of themselves but it will all go away if I just shut up and think happy pretty thoughts of oceans and lakes and river streams and nature and shit like that or maybe just shit because that’s what violence against women and children is our subconscious shit manifest upon this earth in rivers of blood and landscapes of bruised flesh and sometimes a corpse or two even whole families murdered because some man couldn’t share his woman or kids or some woman went mad from abuse or having too many kids too fast too soon too much postpartum depression craziness from not thinking pretty happy thoughts while she carpooled and bottle fed and listened to the crying of her brood who she sacrificed all hope of being herself for and one day she snapped and thought they’d be better off free of her resentful presence and she meant to go with them but when it was all done she lie dazed and spent yes if I just think positive thoughts all these things will be automagically solved and world peace will break out and global warming will just chill or maybe chill too much are we ready for the ice age yet and what will we do when we run out of oil but I must think pretty happy thoughts and we’ll find new technologies while chanting Om or affirmations and our mental masturbation will sustain us in our time of need we need I need you need some peace and if I think happy thoughts then peace will come but I wonder how all these things will happen if we don’t name the problems if we don’t claim our solutions if we don’t step up and step out of this crazy paradigm if we don’t look at the shit at the steaming piles of shit we’ve made if we just pretend it smells like roses and live behind our new age poses will it just evaporate or will it penetrate?
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3treekisser: Cherry Cat3treekisser on March 28th, 2008 04:04 pm (UTC)
Very Beckett!
Tapatitapati on March 28th, 2008 04:11 pm (UTC)
I had to look him up, if you mean Samuel Beckett and it looks like you might. (I'm afraid my love affair with sci fi and fantasy has prevented me from reading a lot of other great literature over the years.) I'll have to read his stuff, looks interesting.

I think my primary influence was some of Ani DiFranco's spoken word pieces via the freewriting we used to do in my writing classes and also influenced by this:


And was a response to some actual comments I'd received for writing about violence against women.
3treekisser: Cherry Cat3treekisser on March 28th, 2008 04:20 pm (UTC)
Yep, I meant Samuel Beckett. He has a habit of either really SLOW nothing-happening type dialogue, or really fast-paced monologues.

Here's the full text of "Not I", a monologue by a, yes, mouth in the darkness...:P


I listened a bit to the clip, though I couldn't quite get what she was talking about. *blush*
Tapatitapati on March 28th, 2008 04:34 pm (UTC)
Here's another one, by May Swenson, that has always touched me and, lurking in my subconscious, has probably influenced the piece I just wrote:


Entitled Bleeding, it is a dialog between the knife and the cut. I was so struck by this one I chose to write a paper about it for my women's literature class.
(Anonymous) on March 31st, 2008 10:24 pm (UTC)
swarup das on GR

I want to thank Dhyana who wrote to Swarup das at 8:01 today on GR. And all the others who gave similar comments.

I understand that S das may be able to mesmerize little 20 year old kids and people who were never there about KC, but I find that he is very conveniently choosing what to forget about KC.

JivaXXXXX, for example. Yes, the guy may have had "the voice of an angel", but so what? The guy was a narcissist. How many children did JivaXXXXX have? How did he raise them?

Gee whiz, now, let's see: could it be possible that he had multiple "wives", so that little kids were calling them
"the mommies"? How stable of a life did JivaXXXXX give his children?

Just because a person can sing well doesn't mean anything. Look at Britney Spears.

I think S das needs to get a grip on reality. If he did, maybe he would not be a heroin addict. He's fond of quotes, how about this one: "Never trust a junkie".

"Just get over KC". Right. Like how the Jews need to "just get over" the Holocaust.

Thank you Dhyana and everyone who said something to him. People don't "just get over" PTSD; check DSM-IV.

Why is he coming to a site for EX Vaisnavas and telling people how great Prabhupada is? Why doesn't he open his eyes to the things that Prabhupada said and did that created and co-dependent enabled the dysfunction?

Why doesn't he do some reading and see how BVT "forged" then "discovered" some scriptures? The whole thing is "Men Behaving Badly" from the word go.

People need to call S das on this stuff. Yes, he is so enlightened that he became a heroin addict and helped his wife to do the same.

Gee, KC must really be ecstatic Prabhu.

Tapati I know you like this person, but look what he wrote: "My children are skin disease". It makes me very upset to have people glorifying KC on a website for FORMER Vaisnavas.

Thank you very much the people who are standing up to him and telling it like it is.

It's very unsettling. "Voice like an angel, raise your children like a sociopath and narcissist". I'm soooooooo impressed.

The innocent people who were not around and think KC was so grand need to think very carefully if KC was all that great, why is someone a heroin addict then?

He sounds like a religious addict. There is such a thing called Religious Addiction. He has just substituted one form of addiction for another.

"Never trust a junkie."

Tapati I know this is your friend; I offer this in the spirit of ToughLove.
If you really love someone, and especially a con artist junkie, so facile at appearing to be a "good guy", then you don't let them paint starry-eyed picture to the newbies of a dysfunctional org and a dysfunctional time.

So JivaXXXXX was Britney Spears and Bhagavac Citta was Jamie Lynn Spears, following the great example of her angelic voiced brother, who taught her "how to say no to drugs" and raised his children in a very ethical and highly responsible way, that "any reasonable and prudent person", say from Child Protective Services, would just looove, right? Great.

Yea yea rah rah another cult apologist.
Oh how blissful. Such nectar.

Where is Jagat's National Enquirer Hare Krsna Edition when we need it?

Tapatitapati on March 31st, 2008 11:01 pm (UTC)
Re: swarup das on GR
He was joking about this: "My children are skin disease".

He's not telling us all to run out and rejoin ISKCON. My members once indicated that the majority of them wanted a diversity of opinion on GR not just anti-GV folks. They are intelligent enough to make up their own minds about what he writes.
(Anonymous) on April 3rd, 2008 11:32 pm (UTC)
S das

Pranams. Steve Hegel left on his own volition. You had posted here a poem on Intersections, this thread, this blog, about people pretending that everything is just fine. When in reality they created steaming piles of shit and they won't look at the shit they created. That is how I felt about some of the musings of Mr. Steve Hegel
which I shared with you.

I have never been to Korsnas or Cleveland temple, so I can read things about that and be somewhat detached. I have never had my finger sliced off in a science experiment for my guru, so I can read about that and be somewhat detached.

But I do have experience of being a victim of Religious Fraud. And when some of the people are mentioned who have perpetrated this religious fraud are being glorified, to the point that a little 20 year old kid says, "Oh now I listened to that RKT Album again and heard [whatever]", then I get very heavy PTSD flashbacks all over again.

"Religious fraud is the willful misrepresentation intended to deprive another of some right. Generally a tort, may also constitute the crime of false pretenses. An acrual fraud requires the act to be motivated by the desire to deceive another to his harm, while a constructive fraud is presumption of over-reaching conduct that arises when a profit is made from a relationship of trust.

"The misrepresentation may be a positive lie, a failure to disclose info, or even a statement made in reckless disregard of possible inaccuracy. Actual fraud can never be the result of accident or negligence
because of the requirement that the act be intended to deceive.

"The question of commission may depend upon the COMPETENCE and commercial knowledge of the intended victim. Thus dealings with A MINOR, a feeble-minded person...are scrutinized more closely than dealings with an experienced businessman."

I always enjoy learning new things and you have one of the very few websites that I can send people to in order to deprogram themselves from destructive cults. I can learn new things on your site to further deprogram myself also.

As such, I would prefer that you have, at least on the part of your site that the public can access, factual information and not puff pieces glorifying those who may not in truth be worthy of spiritual glorification.

We can enjoy Britney Spears' music but we don't glorify her as an example of an angel who descended from the Gandharva Loka to take part in Lord Chaitanya's pastimes of womanizing and taking drugs and letting your kids see that and rubbing it in your kids' face. No, with Britney we just view her as a poor misguided soul.

Steve Hegel posted his name on your site so he can easily be googled. In the future if someone wants to hear his puff pieces then they can read his puff pieces on his many websites he has created. In addition you also have sections of your forum that guests cannot access or read.

So those are two alternatives for Steve Hegel: people thirsty for his transcendental knowledge can go to his many websites. Or if he comes back you can put puff pieces on the section of your site that not everyone can access.

I really value the observations made by Babu and ePitau after the incident and once again, that person chose to leave on his own volition. And now I feel better about continuing to recommend your site to people who are trying to deprogram themselves from KC.

It is very rare to find such GV deprogramming sites because some of the very best sites get hacked.

Thank you. I do feel much better now that he is gone and if I want to learn his perspective in life I can always google him. But I don't think I want to after perusing the discourses that I saw on his sites.

I do appreciate that your site exists and I appreciate the many many wonderful and intelligent people like Zanardi, Babu [what?!! intelligent?!!!]
[yes, silly goose], Prsni, Ayyappan, Dhyana, ePitau, and probably some others I forgot.

I thank them, and you, very much for all of the free therapy and free deprogramming and keep up the good work. I do feel much more peaceful that the person is gone and I am sure if others liked his sharing they can go to his site or put it on the inaccessible section of GR.

Tapatitapati on April 4th, 2008 12:29 am (UTC)
Re: S das
If you don't like Swarup's writing, you don't have to read it. If the topic causes PTSD like reactions, avoid it! That's what I do with situations that bring up stuff for me. You won't find me hanging out with people who yell loudly in anger or wearing choker necklaces for that very reason.

As long as posts fulfill the basics of our guidelines they are acceptable and I trust that adults can control what they do and don't read.

I'm glad you find things you like on GR, but please understand that we are not putting out a paid magazine that must fulfill the readers' criteria. :)

Swarup has long been a friend of mine and I am sorry your words drove him away.

Edited at 2008-04-04 12:35 am (UTC)