I had this horrible dream early this morning about my daughter, Ramya. I dreamed that I was informed that she had died from an illness! We had to make arrangements to have her body cremated and were going to pick up the ashes and see to the welfare of our grandsons, who it seemed would be better off being raised by their aunt and uncle. I was bewildered and said to someone, "But she just had a little cough when I talked to her!" I couldn't believe it could escalate to death in a couple of days! (Though that's what happened to Jim Henson.) I was completely freaked out, of course, and just shocked that after almost losing my son to head injury I had now lost my daughter. I even had to go inform my son, who isn't speaking to me, that his sister was dead. It was one of those incredibly realistic dreams where you feel, when you wake up, that it really happened until you realize it was a dream.

Then I got a message from my daughter and on the message she was coughing! Coincidence, I'm sure, but it made me shudder all the same.

I'm sure my brain is working through the idea that she's moved away, and it feels like the loss of death but it isn't, really.