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09 August 2007 @ 05:47 pm
Mandatory arrest laws for batterers  
Salon talks about an interesting study of mandatory arrest laws for domestic violence. There is a discussion of why victims might be reluctant to call the police, and more discussion in the letters written in response. I wrote a letter about why I was reluctant to call the cops one night. Then I responded to another letter writer who suggested that a couple be allowed to split up easily and get joint custody before there was violence. I explained that often, violence begins before there are children. It would be nice if the victim could get it together to leave before they have children, but that is rare.

It is difficult to design a system to handle domestic violence in the best way for everyone involved, and I suggest we keep thinking about ways to get help for all parties. I think the family needs to be treated as a system and counseling could help the whole family, both individual and group counseling.
Mari Adkinsmariadkins on August 10th, 2007 04:00 am (UTC)
When you live in a town of 500 where everybody literally knows everybody else and you're the outsider, it's *hard* to call the police.
squirrelboilersquirrelboiler on August 10th, 2007 08:04 am (UTC)
Meanwhile, in pinko land
They changed the law here so that the police if they are called will make the decision on the matter. It was such a common occurence that when the cops answered a call, the woman ( or whomever) would not only deny the abuse, but the situation put the police peoples life in danger ( cops HATE 'domestic' calls). Now that the police will bring the charge, This both lets the woman ( and it's usually a woman) off the hook from revenge from the dude and also, it's a known fact so that changes it. Whereas before the perp. knew he could cow the woman into not pressing charges, the police are not intimidated.

I approve. It won't stop it, but I think it helped a lot. The rate of 'call backs' for repeat offenses and 'revenge' dropped dramatically.

Just a thought.

crushednchurned on August 12th, 2007 10:02 pm (UTC)
I reported Arrik to the police - there were marks on my neck from being choked - and they arrested him. He spent the night in jail. It was mandatory that they charge him for a crime but never did because the system failed to follow through. He complained about how he could go to jail for 6 months and how I should have felt bad or sorry about it and his parents I think were really pissed at me for victimizing their son with that threat. I became the perp in all their eyes for reporting him. But he never really touched me again after that. It was quite effective in ending the physical cycle. It seemed he didn't take responsibility but he took me seriously after that.

I'm having problems with the first link.

The second link reminds me of my friend's situation where she's afraid to report for the fear of repercussions with custody issues with her daughter. Do you think it's better for a kid to be taken away in a situation where there is some domestic violence in the house or not?
crushednchurned on August 12th, 2007 10:05 pm (UTC)
Oh haha! Just realized that poster was you. I was like... wow, I've heard this story somewhere before, it's so familiar. Why is it so familiar? LOL. Hmm.

I'm definitely going to want to chat with you more about linking up with an absent father. I haven't contacted Arrik for yrs. and no pic anywhere in the house, except for under piles of stuff.