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06 March 2007 @ 11:56 pm
I should do this  
But which issue should I pick?

http://community.livejournal.com/lj_contests/517.html

Domestic violence/poverty/bodyimage/ uh, well they do feed into each other, don't they. Hmmmm. Once upon a time I was working on a piece that proved to be too painful to write about, that showed how negative body image was intimately connected with how I settled for an abusive relationship and stayed in it for so long. I got about a page and a half into it. I ought to look at that again and see if there's something I can build on, or if I should start over completely.

Basically, poor body image led to low self esteem which led to settling for an abusive husband who reinforced the body image/self esteem to keep me hooked and finally leaving led to poverty. All against the backdrop of a society that reinforced the poor body image and low self esteem in so many ways and did little to help me transcend the poverty (as my daughter is now finding out, years later, with the same $2000.00 resource limit they had back in the 70s).

Anything else I should include?
 
 
 
labrys6 on March 7th, 2007 04:35 pm (UTC)
Glad to see you posting again, I have been terribly worried about you. Yes, abusive situations and body image form a vicious cycle. And oddly, even a not really bad body can have that issue----I for instance am pretty average, got my share of whistles and all, but felt hideous all the same.

But I think more is operative here than that. I think something deeply societal is at work----that women should simply be so accepting and "loyal" as to put up with bad relationships, as if it is our JOB. Mind you, men at urged to drop a woman for any offending behavior---but women, oh don't even get me started on the list I have heard from ministers and the like about how if they were just "good wives" it would all be healed.

And I think young women and girls are getting the same message and worse now....add early sexualization to the picture; the idea that being female IS being a successful sex toy even in junior high. Yeah, I could rant and become profanely inarticulate so I am shutting myself off now!
Tapatitapati on March 7th, 2007 07:02 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry to worry you! I have been trying to distract myself by working on the new forum, we're brainstorming for the name. I kept meaning to update but didn't know what to say.

Yes there are many forced keeping battered women locked into the relationship. And I am astonished to read accounts of teenage women who do not think of oral sex as having sex at all and seem more willing to offer that than have intercourse (where they might be more likely to use a condom, I can't imagine they are using a condom during oral sex). I'm all for reclaiming our sexuality, but not to make us a commodity at an early age.

Which reminds me, I wasted a lot of blow jobs on my first husband! Wish I could take them back!
labrys6 on March 7th, 2007 07:39 pm (UTC)
ROFL---ok, the rest of my day will now likely be spent with my head making odd computer sounds as it tries to formulate an image of TAKING BACK blow-jobs!

And yes, the word commodity perfectly describes what I see a lot of young girls behaving as....not what I expected at my age, I must say.