August 24th, 2008


In One Place: The Mahasraya Stories and more

The Mahasraya story (so far, still have more to write):


Falling In Love

Still working on connecting this chronologically to the next set, basically we were together in Chicago for awhile and then moved to L.A. where I eventually got pregnant--then we lost our apartment:

Pregnant In a Laundry Room

Childbirth Led To More Violence

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I Can't Live Without You!


The Odyssey Part 1

The Odyssey Part 2

Adventures In Cultivation:Odyssey Part 2 interlude

Odyssey Part 3

Two Days In The Life, Odyssey Part 3 interlude

After The Odyssey

Friends Locked: From the Other Woman (letter)

Mother of Mercy (stand alone piece)

These next two were some of the earliest writings I did on the subject and I reprinted them in my online magazine, Uppity Women. I just want to add that Maxine, mentioned in the second piece, passed away in 2001 and she is sorely missed.

Why Don't You Just Leave That Jerk? (essay published in 1994 La Gazette in Santa Cruz)

So You Left The Jerk. Now What? (follow up essay also published 1994)

Other biographical entries (just to help me keep track):

Joy In Unlikely Places: My son's head injury

Spanish Guy (Just before I got together with Mahasraya)

Comfort From Above (also connected to son's head injury)

I'm Alive (2001 heart surgery from paper diary)

Trials of the Heart (Salon piece)

Almost: Meeting Dave

F. Komatar

Appointment With Death

Letter From A Christian

Scents From My Childhood

Bonnie and Virginia

Still doing a lot of writing offline that I don't wish to post but will fill in gaps of the Mahasraya story soon--would like to get it over with.

ETA: Here's my post about something my Grandma said on my answering machine after my mom and aunt passed away, with a link to the voice recording of that message: Terilyn, you only have one to hate now--me. Your Aunt Virginia was buried yesterday-beautiful...funeral. Your mother was buried Thurs...Wednesday. And Grandpa goes in for "prostrate" cancer next week so you probably won't have him anymore so I'll be the only one for you to hate.

Scents From My Childhood

I can remember the different scents of each home in my extended family. Grandma used Dove dishwashing soap and Dove bar soap. Grandpa used Lava, which was less about scent and more about abrasion. I was endlessly fascinated with the rough bars which got the worst grime off my hands. Dove, on the other hand, melted in your hands with lots of suds and a beautiful scent. Grandma put it on her face when we took a bath together and said that because of the cleansing cream (as advertised) it would make her face softer if she left it on for a bit. Grandma didn’t wear much perfume but I do remember she often used Jergens lotion, which had a scent I also loved. Because my mother sold Avon, every woman in my family had some Avon perfumes and samples. I loved the little samples that came in a little square pack with a pad soaked in the perfume. Collapse )

Stop all the Clocks

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone

W. H. Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.


Used in the funeral scene of one of my favorite movies, Four Weddings and a Funeral. Makes me cry every time.