November 22nd, 2005


Former friend at LJ

What a small planet we live on.

I've run into a former friend's LJ. At first I was simply amused, and it was nice to hear about her mother, who I always liked. So I check in now and then because her mother has some health problems and I'm concerned.

But then I noticed that periodically she writes...sermons is all I can think to call them. Sermons about how people ought to be honest with the people in their lives, how they should talk over their problems, how they should not blindside them or do things behind their back, etc. All good advice...except that the preacher hasn't always followed it. Again, that isn't a problem--if only she'd admit that up front! In fact, it might make the preaching even more potent if she'd 'fess up to her past transgressions and how badly things went when she did lie to her significant other.

But no, not a word about her own past lies or her own "letter bombs." Isn't it great when you're the only one telling the story? She can act indignant or angry with her current circle of friends for doing these things and conveniently forget to mention that she has done the same exact things. I remember when she was telling me that she planned to leave her husband behind when she went off to grad school. Yet in my presence she would talk to him as if he was going to accompany her. In fact, she told me the only reason she was still with him at the time was that she couldn't hold down a job and needed his support. Once at grad school she'd have financial aid and T.A. jobs. She said she just didn't feel romantic towards him any more and wasn't having sex with him.

Somehow they stayed together after all and I don't know if she ever told him that she'd been talking about leaving him. I felt so awkward at the time about being put in the position of covering up her lies and being complicit in the deception. Yet I recently read her complaining of her friends putting her in that same position. I couldn't believe my eyes.

I was relieved when our friendship ended and I was no longer in the middle. I'm just flabbergasted by her preaching and complete failure to own up to her past.

Raging Grannies

It wasn't until I moved to the West Coast that I encountered radical older women. Back home in Iowa most seniors were conservatives. I was afraid that I would never fit in once I reached their age, and I sincerely hoped that my generation wouldn't undergo some sort of negative transformation and all start voting Republican.

So imagine my delight to hear about the Raging Grannies who went down to a recruitment station to earnestly volunteer to take the place of some young person who would otherwise die in Iraq.

I hope I am half that gutsy when I am their age. Hell, I hope someday I am their age!