Now that I declined my second interview for the job with the commute I am back to sending out resumes and hoping for an equally great job nearby. The deciding factor was a three day migraine right after the first interview. I have to work through most of my migraines or get fired for not showing up. No way could I drive an hour with a migraine, and that point was brought forcibly home.
Meanwhile I am in a funk over, of all things, a tv show finale. It's one that has personal resonance for me, though. (Spoiler for Grey's Anatomy follows.)
A character with heart disease was killed off on Grey's Anatomy Monday night. Denny had made it through his heart transplant only to die of a stroke when a clot formed. He had just asked another character to marry him and she'd said yes. So it was one of those tragic moments and brought up for me all of my own feelings regarding the sacrifices and the risks for my husband in choosing to love and stay married to me. Denny's fiance Izzie at one point had persuaded him to take a chance on her scheme of acquiring the new heart for him by making him sicker. She told him that while his belief in heaven meant he would be all right if he died because he didn't get this heart, what about her? How would she live without him? And then she cried that she'd never be able to forgive him. He says, "For dying?" and she cries, "No, for making me love you!"
How could this not break my heart?