Tapati (tapati) wrote,

In a tailspin

The past few days I've just been in a tailspin. Not even sure what that means, exactly, but Chavi's death, though expected, just kicked my ass. That and my fears about my job search--the process, worried about where I'll end up and what it will be like, feeling burned and not wanting to risk it again--have me trying my best to stuff my overwhelming feelings. Knowing how unhealthy THAT can be, I am trying to find ways to work through them. Some writing in my more private, paper journal may help. I think I need a good hot tub and an equally good cry. I have cried a bit but I feel like I've barely lanced the boil of pain that's trying to bubble up to the surface.

If I seem inattentive at all, that's why.

I also failed to work on my resume this weekend but it's the first thing on my TO DO list tomorrow.
Tags: chavi, fear, grief, job search

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