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20 January 2006 @ 12:47 am
Take my uterus, please  
Perhaps it's not a good idea to make this decision in the middle of my painful menstrual period with its substantial blood flow, but I've decided I really don't need my uterus for anything and I'd be happy to say goodbye. You've been a good uterus, faithfully borne my children, but as a 47 year old with heart disease, two grown children and two grandsons I really don't think I need your services anymore. Other than providing free and easy to obtain blood for spells, you really don't do anything for me anymore. It's time to let you go. I wonder if I can donate you?

I do still need my ovaries so I will be in the odd position of having hormonal changes that aren't signalled obviously in my body. I guess I'll still notice ovulation and the increased oiliness of my hair and skin. Will my ovaries cramp? I swear one of them is, and they are going to check that out.

I won't know the exact day of my cycle, though, and I guess February will be my last menstrual cycle as the surgery is scheduled for Feb. 27. It's a little scary to have surgery now that I have heart disease because it's riskier to go under general anesthetic. But I really feel like I have to start whittling away at the various things that cause me misery in this body, and this last year anemia caused by my heavy periods as well as the severe cramping that accompanies them has been high on my list. If I can't start feeling better in this body, it's really a disincentive to do all that's necessary to remain in it for a longer time.

So, I surrender to this surgery no matter what the outcome, with the best of hope and yet accepting that the outcome may not be what I would wish.
 
 
 
jew_witchgirljew_witchgirl on January 20th, 2006 03:50 pm (UTC)
Wish I could be there to help take care of you post-surgery, though I know Dave will do so.
Are you going to do a ritual for your last cycle?
(Anonymous) on January 20th, 2006 09:22 pm (UTC)
It should be a fairly easy recovery, I'll be in the hospital through the hard part, for two days.

I'm thinking I should definitely do some ritual or other. It's kind of confusing, though, the end of bleeding but not of the hormones. It's like being poised on the cusp of cronehood. But then, I feel like my body is really in that odd state with my 70 year old arteries and my 20 year old colon, my gray hair but only mildly wrinkled face. Why should my reproductive organs be any different?

So I have to figure out what this means in order to ritualize it. I could say that it's definitely a goodbye to child bearing except I took care of that with the tubal ligation a decade ago. I guess it's mainly a goodbye to bleeding, pure and simple, and honoring the service my uterus has performed.
Tapatitapati on January 20th, 2006 09:24 pm (UTC)
that was me, something wiped out my permanent log in.
crushednchurned on January 21st, 2006 11:45 pm (UTC)
Good luck with it. I hope everything goes smoothly.
Tapatitapati on January 22nd, 2006 09:47 pm (UTC)
Thanks!