Perhaps it's not a good idea to make this decision in the middle of my painful menstrual period with its substantial blood flow, but I've decided I really don't need my uterus for anything and I'd be happy to say goodbye. You've been a good uterus, faithfully borne my children, but as a 47 year old with heart disease, two grown children and two grandsons I really don't think I need your services anymore. Other than providing free and easy to obtain blood for spells, you really don't do anything for me anymore. It's time to let you go. I wonder if I can donate you?

I do still need my ovaries so I will be in the odd position of having hormonal changes that aren't signalled obviously in my body. I guess I'll still notice ovulation and the increased oiliness of my hair and skin. Will my ovaries cramp? I swear one of them is, and they are going to check that out.

I won't know the exact day of my cycle, though, and I guess February will be my last menstrual cycle as the surgery is scheduled for Feb. 27. It's a little scary to have surgery now that I have heart disease because it's riskier to go under general anesthetic. But I really feel like I have to start whittling away at the various things that cause me misery in this body, and this last year anemia caused by my heavy periods as well as the severe cramping that accompanies them has been high on my list. If I can't start feeling better in this body, it's really a disincentive to do all that's necessary to remain in it for a longer time.

So, I surrender to this surgery no matter what the outcome, with the best of hope and yet accepting that the outcome may not be what I would wish.