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17 January 2006 @ 11:51 pm
a trying day  
All day long I kept receiving private messages from the other woman in a romantic triangle that was revealed on my forum. She wants to convince me that she was not the main instigator. I keep thinking, "What does this really matter? Why am I the one to convince?" while I try to deal with my own feelings about infidelity in general and my own history with it in particular.

I gather she turned to me because all of her other contacts stopped speaking to her, especially the object of her affections.

I finally convinced her that I am pretty much not interested in seeing it her way and that there's no mileage in bothering me about it.

In the middle of this I got a break--to go have a pap smear and endometrial biopsy. Ouch! I returned to moderate the forum while cramping. If they only knew how much I hurt they would have praised my self restraint.

If the biopsy comes back normal, as I expect it to, I have to choose between endometrial ablation or partial hysterectomy to deal with my bleeding problem once and for all. Removing the uterus would make it a sure thing, and take care of the pain I experience during my periods lately--off the charts. Since I have some unexplained pain in the pelvic area that they want to look at laparascopically, I was told it would only be a slightly longer procedure to just take out the uterus. It's not like I plan to have more children. It would, however, require a hospital stay of two days and clearance from my cardiologist. I am going to make an appointment with him and see what he says. It can be risky for a heart patient to go under general anesthetic, but I am a young heart patient with only mild heart damage. I ought to be ok. And at the end of it I can maybe be free of at least one type of pain I experience. I think it's worth it.

So I'm leaning towards removing the uterus and mulling it over. I would of course keep my ovaries.