Intersections

Cross Cultural Opression

Sun, 12 Jul 2009 14:47:18 GMT

Today I have a guest blog up at No Longer Quivering, entitled "Connecting The Dots: Patriarchy Across Cultures. It talks about the connections between the fundamentalist, restrictive religious groups of different cultures, be they Christian, Muslim, Hindu, or others. I have been struck lately by the similarities in how women are treated and regarded in these disparate cultures. It seems like the one unifying theme is that women should be controlled and covered up and that men should rule their homes and the world. Period.

It amazes me now that I once bought into that notion for a second. I had misgivings the first time I read about women not being seen as intelligent as men are and how we should always be under the guidance of a man. There was a lot of soothing rhetoric about how we are "not our bodies" but "on the material platform we must discriminate." I liked many other things about temple life and the philosophy so I let myself be lulled into going along on that one unpalatable point. It was easy once I left to recover my feminist roots. I am so glad I did. It was like waking up from a dream.

Don't get me wrong, there were positive things from my experience in the Hare Krishna movement as well. And I am not saying the whole religion is just a cult. I would say that the Western version of it ended up being cult-like because of the way the head of it felt he had to train (indoctrinate) what he saw as godless Westerners. In its native setting, Gaudiya Vaishnavism is gradually adjusting to modern times like other religions, and not all of its followers are fanatical. Some practice it in a healthier manner that doesn't restrict their lives.

There will be future posts where I delve more into my own experience. I am working on a memoir, and while the Hare Krishna years aren't the sole focus (but rather, a chapter of it) I do cover some of that time in a rough draft here.

Class Divisions Reflected Online

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 20:03:39 GMT

Two interesting articles about class divides online, one a transcription of a speech The Not-So-Hidden Politics of Class and, with heavy irony, Facebook: Stuff White People Like.

Of course LJ gets a mention in comments on Feministing's article about the speech-- The Online Class Divide--here's the excerpt:

ElleStar said:

I wonder where LiveJournal falls on the Facebook-MySpace continuum.

Maybe we're the kids in the back of the class playing Dungeons and Dragons.

Ravencomeslaughing replied to ElleStar :

LOL! I'm curious too, as I'm on both LJ and FB. I had a MySpace page for a short while, but left because of the reasons others state. Mainly, the annoying messages from total strangers and the browser-crashing pages with annoyingly loud music. I don't even go to the MS pages of people I know due to that music feature.
I'm not sure LJ can really compare, though, as social networks aren't necessarily fulfilling the same function as a journal. And now that LJ's development team is based in Russia, I have noticed being "friended" there by a few more spambots than usual. Fortunately, you can report them to get them shut down.
I didn't get on Facebook for the being in college thing, I actually use it to keep in touch with old friends from college and high school. (I'm almost 40) But I find the little quizzes entertaining. That's the lovely thing about this being a free country with free Internet access at the library: You don't have to visit a site you don't like.

Meep replied to ElleStar :

I was just about to say the same thing: what about LiveJournal? Or Dreamwidth?

Facebook and MySpace are both for socializing online with people you know offline (who tend to be the same race as you), whereas LJ is a free-for-all with online and offline friend alike, and there's usually no photo of the user (other'n the userpic, which isn't usually of the account holder).
------

There were also a lot of comments about Myspace's garish interfaces. I think Myspace would benefit from emulating LiveJournal in one thing: make it so that you can read your friend's updates, blogs, etc., in your own page design. Thus the young people can have the white-on-black pages that are hard for us older folks to read, but we can read them in our own mellow color scheme. :)

Also please for the love of Goddess stop the automatic music.

I maintain my Myspace just because people I know are there, but having found LJ first, I prefer it immensely. FB I joined because lots of people I knew were joining and the use of real names meant I could find people I hadn't seen in years. Disclaimer: most of the people I knew on FB already were college-educated and many are middle class. But then, I got online originally because I had access at UCSC before the internet was available to all comers, back in the early 90s. So many of my early online associates were middle class college students, some of whom have migrated to LJ or FB after our Unix-based boards got replaced by the world wide web, blogs, forums, and social networking sites. Back in the day, AOL was "the ghetto."

So the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Happy Birthday To You!

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 19:25:12 GMT

I want to wish Happy Birthday to litlebanana and also Happy Graduation! Good luck with your move and getting settled in your new home. And thank you once again for the incredible collection of baby clothes for my little Zaman.

Bright Blessings!

Books for Africa

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 15:47:12 GMT

CNN had an article today entitled Africa's Hidden Famine. This story got me because I am horrified by the idea that children anywhere might lack access to books!

If you have books that fit their criteria, you can mail books to the warehouse at Books For Africa, a nonprofit that helps fill the desperate need for text books and recreational reading in Africa.

Info from the site:

Please send all book donations to the BFA warehouse:

Books For Africa Warehouse-Atlanta
2971 Olympic Industrial Drive SE, Suite C
Smyrna, GA 30080 USA

Books For Africa accepts:

* 10 years old or newer popular fiction and nonfiction reading books (soft and hard cover).
* 10 years old or newer primary, secondary, and college textbooks (soft and hard cover).
* 1995 or newer reference books such as encyclopedias and dictionaries.
* 10 years old or newer medical, nursing, IT, and law books.
* Bibles are sent when requested by African recipients.
* School/office supplies—paper, pencils, pens, wall charts, maps, etc.

Acceptable books are gently used and relevant to an African reader.
Books For Africa does NOT accept:

* Magazines or journals or any kind.
* Home decorating, wedding, or cookbooks.
* Ethnocentric books, such as the biography of Abraham Lincoln or the history of Ohio.
* Foreign language books except for French books. French novels and dictionaries are welcome.
* American history or civics.
* Music books for K–12.

Currently, it costs 50 cents to ship each book to Africa. Please consider making a financial donation to cover the costs of shipping the books you donate. Please send financial donations separately in an envelope to the BFA office: Books For Africa, 253 East 4th Street, Suite 200, St. Paul, MN 55101, USA. Or make a donation online.

An Amazing Family: Surfwise

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 15:09:34 GMT

Dave and I watched Surfwise last night...wow, just wow. Lots of food for thought. Amazing family despite the lifestyle. Good discussion of how difficult re-entry into society was.

Some of the boys were quite musically talented and have recording careers. I'll have to look up their music now.

Most of the kids lamented their lack of education. No real attempt was even made to home school, which would have enabled them to go to college if done well. Since "Doc" made so much of being a Stanford graduate, he was qualified to teach if he had chosen to. I guess that would have cut into his surfing time and his view of himself as being like the animals. (rolls eyes) I saw many parallels to my first husband in this film. The back to nature bit, the fanatical food bit, the avoidance of conventional medicine (unless severe injury happens), the rigidity of thinking and the need to be in control were all there. Occasionally he had a valid point to make in the film--but the implementation of his ideas left much to be desired.

My one quibble with the film was that some issues could have been explored in more depth and some questions I would have asked were not asked. Although Juliette, the mom, says briefly that she was pregnant and nursing for ten years and has mostly blocked that out, I would have liked to have drawn her out more about what HER typical days were like. Also, how DID they feed the family before they got the idea later for their surfing camps? How did they come up with gas money? They were surfing all day every day, where did it come from? Although "Doc" or Dorian talks obliquely about his violence (you have to master yourself before you try to master your children or some such quote), I'd like to explore where it came from and how he thinks about it today. Also, if he's so devoted to the lifestyle and being animal-like, why is he now living in a condo in Hawaii rather than in a camper? If it was good enough for his children and wife, it should still be good enough for him.

The daughter, Navah, is truly awesome. "I'm not one of the brothers. I don't have a penis." LOL

I was left thinking, anyone can drop out of society. It takes more guts to stay in and try to change it.

There But For The Grace...

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 15:46:05 GMT

Mom recalls death of baby she left in car.

Nationwide, about thirty six children a year die when they are left in a car and their bodies are overheated as a result. In some of these cases, the switch to a rear-facing infant seat in the back seat of the car makes it all too easy for tired, over-stressed parents to forget the child is with them that day, waiting to be dropped off at day care. Several weeks ago I left my purse in the car overnight, something I had never done before. Considering my concerns about identity theft that was a stupid thing to do. I can imagine myself doing the unthinkable and forgetting to drop a baby at daycare if it wasn't normally my day, if my routine was disrupted in some way, or if I had a migraine that kept me totally distracted.

There is talk about a technological fix, but in the meantime here are official tips from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

Safety tips from NHTSA to prevent hyperthermia include:

• Never leave a child unattended in a vehicle.

• Do not let your children play in an unattended vehicle. Teach them that a vehicle is not a play area.

• Never leave infants or children in a parked vehicle, even if the windows are partially open or with the engine running and the air conditioning on.

• Make a habit of looking in the vehicle - front and back - before locking the door and walking away.

• If you are bringing your child to daycare, and normally it's your spouse or partner who brings them, have your spouse or partner call you to make sure everything went according to plan.

• Ask your childcare provider to call you if your child does not show up for childcare. Do things to remind yourself that a child is in the vehicle, such as:
-- Writing yourself a note and putting the note where you will see it when you leave the vehicle;
-- Placing your purse, briefcase or something else you need in the back seat so that you will have to check the back seat when you leave the vehicle; or
-- Keeping an object in the car seat, such as a stuffed toy. When the child is buckled in, place the object where the driver will notice it when he or she is leaving the vehicle.

• Always lock vehicle doors and trunks and keep keys out of children's reach. If a child is missing, check the vehicle first, including the trunk.

• If you see a child alone in a hot vehicle, call the police. If they are in distress due to heat, get them out as quickly as possible. Warning signs may include: red, hot, and moist or dry skin, no sweating, a strong rapid pulse or a slow weak pulse, nausea or acting strangely. Cool the child rapidly. Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.

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You can also leave a voice mail for yourself at work as a reminder.

Perhaps we should all glance at cars and if there's an infant seat in the back, look inside. Getting help in time could save a child's life.

Fellow book lovers

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 14:10:42 GMT

Interesting history of the 7 most impressive libraries throughout history. Also highlights the role of literacy through the ages.

Crazy moms and the kids who still love them

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 23:14:05 GMT

In response to the letter to Cary Tennis in Salon, entitled My mother is crazy -- what can I do? I posted the following at Salon:

The Personal is Political

This situation highlights some societal issues that I feel obligated to point out. Other letter writers have addressed many of the practical issues already.

As Salon articles have previously made clear, our society has chosen to err on the side of freedom and independence and make it very hard to get psychiatric help for even obviously, severely mentally ill people. This was a reaction to previous laws that were too lax and enabled abuse by families and professionals. Currently, family members living with a severely mentally ill person can be in real danger but unless they can present proof to a court they may very well not be able to do anything about it.

Our laws need an overhaul. At the very least, someone who has demonstrated obvious symptoms of being out of touch with reality ought to be hospitalized until they are lucid, no longer paranoid, and can make informed decisions about further care. A court review after 30 days (or suitable time) can insure that they are not being railroaded or abused, with follow up monitoring if they are not yet stable. Anyone who cares about this issue can and should write to their representatives at state and federal levels.

I understand that many if not all psych meds have debilitating side effects. (Who wants to drool? Anyone?) We desperately need better meds and/or treatments. I hope in time we will.

Mentally ill parents, especially primary caregivers who are usually mothers, have little or no support if they become unable to provide adequate care for their children. There is also deep shame for them if they admit this! Again, we have failed as a society to address this issue.

My heart goes out to the letter writer and her siblings. I lived with a deeply depressed and suicidal single mom from age 13 to age 16, when I fled home to join the Hare Krishna movement. Locally no foster homes were available for me, only an institution known as the "county home" which was kind of like being sent to juvie without having committed any crime. The temple was a far better option. My extended family actually told me, at age 13, that I should take care of my mother and that if I asked to be placed outside the home I would be responsible if she committed suicide!

It should also be easier for teens with mentally ill or unsuitable parents to be emancipated. Often that is one of the best options for them.

Sometimes, all that may be needed is extra help at home by a team of professionals, including a social worker, housekeeper, or others. That could be more cost effective for counties than providing foster care and might help keep semi-functional families together.

I agree with those who say check in with the brother before taking any action and see what he feels is best for him. Sometimes social service interventions aren't all that much better and could leave him cut off from his social support system. I wouldn't have gotten through my teen years without my friends!

To sjohntucson: please don't beat yourself up. No one issues a guide book for dealing with a crazy parent! The professionals were the ones responsible for over-medicating your mother, if indeed that was the problem. (The deterioration could have been organic in nature and no one's fault.) We are taught to respect doctors' authority. This is yet another problem in our society. We need to start viewing doctors and other health professionals as consultants and question their advice rather than just passively take it in. Please have some compassion for yourself, having been put in such a painfully difficult situation. You may still find healing from this painful past.

In solidarity with all the other children of mentally ill parents (Hi Allie!) (And hey, if the ACAs have books and groups, where's ours?)

R.I.P. David Eddings

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 00:48:43 GMT

Beloved and influential fantasy author David Eddings, who in tandem with his late wife Leigh managed to garner both commercial and critical success with several series of best-selling novels, has passed away at the age of 77.

Another obit here,and another

I read his books several times, got young readers hooked on them too, and on at least one occasion, his humor got me through a serious depression. I hope he continues to write on the other side.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Eddings

Ooh!

Tue, 19 May 2009 23:41:23 GMT

I lust after books and good bookshelves like other people lust after clothes or shoes or cars and the like. So check this out!

15 Coolest Bookshelves.

Drool...

Other vintage ads

Tue, 19 May 2009 23:39:16 GMT

Vintage ads.

more!

Current sexism

Tue, 19 May 2009 21:51:52 GMT

And now, for a current sexist ad...

Seriously?

15 Sexist Vintage Ads

Tue, 19 May 2009 20:24:16 GMT

It's hard to believe they could get away with some of this stuff--I guess we have made some progress!

Photos from my trip

Mon, 18 May 2009 13:55:42 GMT

You can see photos from my trip here. I wish I'd taken a picture of the incredible spread of food for my daughter's birthday, which was on Mother's Day. But I didn't have my camera unpacked at that point since I was so busy cooking.

I haven't captioned them yet but the only people in them are my daughter Ramya, my oldest grandson Jonathan, my youngest grandson Valente, myself, and the new baby girl, Zaman Athena.

The Boy Who Could Make Himself Disappear by Kin Platt

Sat, 02 May 2009 19:38:18 GMT

I was recently reminded of this book (by the Grey's Anatomy episode I previously mentioned) and submitted the following review at Amazon:

I first read The Boy Who Could Make Himself Disappear when I was a teenager living with a single mother who was experiencing a deep depressive episode. While she was not deliberately cruel or as self-absorbed as the character, Roger's, mother, she wasn't emotionally available. Reading this book (over and over) was strangely healing and empowering for me. It validated my sense of my reality, rather than the view my family was trying to foist off on me--the view that I was responsible for my mother rather than the other way around.

This book enabled me to see that my life was not normal and that I deserved better. Kin Platt nurtured my instinct for self preservation and kept hope alive in me. The many caring people in Roger's life who intervened on his behalf or showed him love let me know that there were good and decent people in the world. I was shown another model of how to be that counteracted the influence of my dysfunctional extended family. I also saw that one could extract one's self from such a family with no need for guilt.

To say this book shouldn't be read by those under 17, as an earlier review indicated, is to say that I shouldn't have had access to this book when I needed it most. I think it should definitely be available to every abused or neglected teenager and is a must-read for anyone wanting to expand their capacity for compassion and love. It's a classic!

--------------

Note: I wasn't the only reviewer to indicate that this book helped them survive abuse. Another reviewer was inspired to go into the field of speech therapy by the compassionate speech therapist in the book, too. Isn't it amazing the impact books can have on our lives?

To learn more about the book (other reviews discussed the plot in more depth), you can find it here:

http://www.amazon.com/Boy-Could-Make-Himself-Disappear/dp/044090837X

Intervene in the life of a child

Fri, 01 May 2009 15:56:32 GMT

I was crying last night, believe it or not, from a show. I've been watching Grey's Anatomy since first season and identifying so much with Meredith Gray's childhood. Last night she kind of got hammered because first her dad tried to apologize and make amends as part of his new found sobriety (he dived into the bottle after his wife died), then she encountered a little girl who shot her dad because he was abusing her and her mom--so Meredith stood up for her to her mom. Then she got into it with the chief of surgery because she did so and he later apologized to her for not intervening when she was a child. He'd had an affair with her mother and when he broke it off, her mother couldn't deal with it. She threw herself into her work as a surgeon and neglected her husband and child. Meredith's dad left and she was alone with a neglectful and emotionally abusive mom who later tried to kill herself in front of Meredith. The chief had tried to tell himself all these years that it wasn't his fault or responsibility. But he had to face the fact that he saw the neglect and did or said nothing.

So he delivered a long and heartfelt apology and I just burst into tears. Suddenly I was that little girl who no one intervened for. I was the battered wife who no one called the police for.

All my life I have been driven to intervene for women and children. I don't want to leave anyone feeling like no one ever cared about their suffering like that. I testified against my own half brother for his abuse and neglect of his kids.

If more people stood up for kids, maybe we wouldn't have so many violent criminals, drug addicts and other emotionally damaged people.

Letter to a friend

Tue, 28 Apr 2009 01:49:31 GMT

A couple of months ago a friend wrote me a heart-felt letter where she poured out her fears for her husband, who was facing a serious health problem, and asked me what I thought about faith. She wondered what was supposed to be the good of faith in God if bad things happened anyway. What was its purpose? How could she have faith if God allowed such bad things to happen to people? What good does prayer do? What role does Satan play in all of this?

These are all questions that sooner or later, no matter what our religious orientation (unless we have none), occur to us. The fact that there are no certain answers that we can prove with scientific accuracy, no God we can see under our microscope or discern with our telescope, no blazing letters in the sky letting us know that these words were not just written down by men with an agenda, but sent by God, all of this leads us to question the truth and value of our beliefs in times of trouble. Sometimes the answers of our particular tradition don't seem sufficient in the face of our uncertainty and pain.

Knowing that we come from different religious orientations (she was raised a Catholic and I joined her church for a time and was re-baptized and confirmed, with her mother becoming my godmother), I chose my words carefully. She acknowledged that I probably wasn't a Christian when she asked, so I knew she didn't expect me to answer only with her religion in mind.

Dear _____,

In your letter you asked a lot of weighty questions that I wanted to think about carefully before I answered.

First you mention faith in God and more or less ask" What is the good of it? Faith that He'll do what? What about suffering?"

These are of course timeless questions everyone asks when they are suffering or worried about the death of a loved one. If I had some sort of absolute proof of the right answer I could make a fortune!

These are some of the questions I was asking as a teenager trying to understand why all my praying, church-going, rosary-chanting and faith wasn't stopping my world from falling apart.

Over the years I have read many books, attended many classes, meditated for many hours, and followed more than a few who claimed to know the Truth with a capital T. :)

I have concluded that while mystics all over the world have received glimpses of the Divine, they then are left with their puny brain and mundane words to try to describe what is bigger than we are able to comprehend (at least until we are no longer bound by that puny brain).

Worse still, the rulemakers come along and read or hear the mystic's experience and start trying to quantify it.

Dramatization:...So you had fasted for 40 days from eating meat. OK, let's write that down. Where were you sitting when this happened? In an olive grove on Mount Vision. OK, olive groves must be sacred and if we can't pray ON Mt. Vision, we should face it and visualize it when we pray. Now, are you married? No? Well obviously one who wants to realize the Truth must avoid the company of women. [note: Mystic is too embarrassed to admit getting laid an hour before vision.]

On and on it goes, each time a mystic "sees" a bit more of the Divine, until there are volumes of rules for each religion that affect each part of our lives and yet doesn't seem to help us "see" or connect with the Divine. Indeed, we are so busy worrying about following these rules we are too anxious to achieve a state of mind conducive to such a connection.

Of course throughout the history of religion we heard from precious few women. While I'm sure women were having these ecstatic glimpses of and relationships with the Divine, most of them either couldn't write them down or if they did, the male-dominated religious hierarchy didn't consider them to be noteworthy. There are a few exceptions--St. Teresa of Avila, Hildegard of Bingen, and in India there was Mirabai.

From The Hunger for Ecstacy by Jalaja Bonheim:

When people wondered why the 16th century Indian poet Mirabai chose to make love with Spirit and rejected all human lovers, she laughingly responded, 'I have felt the swaying of the elephant's shoulders...and now you want me to climb on a jackass? Try to be serious!'

'The pain of his absence burns my bewildered heart and gives me no rest,' She cried in one of her songs. Many of her poems are like the screams of a birthing woman, full of a raw, wild-intensity--yet out of that pain is born the amazing rapture that illuminates her words.

People are still singing her songs in India today.

Once someone has experienced that ecstatic union with the Divine [to use a gender-neutral term] that person is filled with a powerful yearning to repeat the experience. There is a kind of fiery bliss that mystics describe as they speak of that yearning to be reunited with their Beloved. The work of Rumi is filled with it. It is this ecstatic love-in-separation that drives them to continuously seek out there Beloved and to naturally lose interest in everything else.

The rulemakers have it backwards. One does not take on these austerities to get to God...one connects with God and then the pleasures of the world dim by comparison.

The rulemakers use faith as a whip and castigate those who have doubts and fears.

This is completely contrary to the spirit and nature of the Divine One as experienced by the mystics. Mystics speak of a Presence filled with love, compassion, and forgiveness. This Presence sees us completely and loves us completely, in all our flaws and virtues.

It is this loving Divine Person who grants us free will and weeps when we misuse it to harm others. It is this loving Person who cries as much for those who do harm as for those who suffer harm. It is this Divine Person who hopes that we will learn from our mistakes and evolve spiritually to help others. This is not a Person who sets it up so that we are condemned eternally with no hope of parole. At any point, according to Eastern thought, the spirit soul [who we really are] can experience remorse and turn back towards the Light of the Divine.

Darkness/Evil/Illusion is seen in the East as Maya--an energy of God for those who choose to turn away from that Light. It is said that if you don't serve God directly, then you serve indirectly as you embrace Maya.

Each incarnation is another chance to learn the futility of embracing Maya and instead, to turn back and cultivate our relationship with God.

Where faith comes in is not that we have faith that God will make our lives extra smooth and free of suffering. We all will suffer. Faith insures that we cultivate our relationship with God and when we do suffer, we are never suffering alone. Faith enables us to access God's grace and see our suffering in a new context, a context of our ongoing journey of spiritual evolution as we come ever closer to a union with God, heart to heart. Each life experience teaches us something. Each time we suffer our heart opens in compassion for all others who suffer if we have enough faith not to contract in fear and anger. We are here to learn and pain is a good teacher.

I believe we are given guides and that when we take the time to pray or sit in quiet contemplation or meditation we can tune in to their guidance. Not as in hearing voices (LOL) but rather--answers come to us, fear subsides and our hope is renewed.

Sooner or later we will be leaving these bodies behind. On a spiritual level this is no different from discarding our old broken-down car and getting a newer model--after a period of self-assessment and study. We will see the people we love on "the other side."

Down here on planet Earth we of course grieve at the separation from our loved ones. For that matter, I grieved when my dear friend B. spent 2 years in Israel. It's only natural. Faith reminds us that we will be reunited, though, and grants us a ray of hope.

Our loved ones who have just crossed over are readjusting and re-orienting from identifying with this world and the body they just left and learning again that they are a spirit soul on a journey. They are in a place where their thoughts manifest in their environment. It can take awhile to get used to the realm in which they find themselves. Our prayers for them are felt and have a positive effect so it is important to pray for them to have clarity and peace and to be free from fear. It is the last loving thing we can do for them from this side.

It's also important to help loved ones release fear and guilt before the pass away. One phrase I like is "You go from love into love." I also like the biblical quote "Be still and know that I am."

Dying doesn't have to be a horrible experience if we prepare mentally before hand--though of course there will be some fear--just as we feared childbirth.

While I am not a Christian I do read the words of Jesus and see him as another of the great mystics who tried to teach us about the spiritual journey. It's about LOVE. The more we seek to embody love and spread love, the closer we are to God.

I hope this has helped to answer your questions though I know the perspective is different than you are used to.

When it comes to the many different religions, each claiming to have the only Truth, I see them as being culturally accessible ways to reach towards the same Person. I no longer imagine a God who is preoccupied with the minute aspects of our lifestyle--what we eat, when we have sex, and so on. The quality of love in our relationships is what matters, not using sex as a weapon, not causing undue suffering to animals if we eat meat, and so on.

I often whimsically picture God as being like the parent receiving an imperfectly cooked breakfast from a beloved child. What God cares about is the love behind the offering, not the burnt toast or runny eggs.

My relationship with God is often whimsical and very informal. I believe God has the best sense of humor ever. I believe She is always with us.

Love, Tapati

SARK available for consultation

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 16:16:23 GMT

Couching With SARK!

Anyone who has read SARK's books or seen one of her cards or posters knows that she is a veritable fountain of inspiration and creativity. What if you could harness that power in your own life? Well, now you can! SARK is offering coaching and mentoring via phone, or "couching" as she calls it. The link, above, goes to a page that tells you all you need to know to bring SARK's wisdom and inspiration home. If you are working on a creative project and would like advice, struggling with how to implement an idea for a business, or have a personal issue that's troubling you, SARK either has ideas or can point you to the resources you need. (SARK gives referrals to licensed therapists whenever appropriate for deeper issues that require their professional assistance.)

I also recommend SARK's Journal.

A Poem from Jonathan

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 21:19:02 GMT

My soon-to-be-eight year old grandson Jonathan sent me the following:

Poem
You are like a flower in the sunshine
You look like a rose in a garden
You smell like a spring flower in spring
You twinkle like a diamond

Love, Jon

That just melts my heart!

Father in law in hospital

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 18:20:30 GMT

Over the weekend my father in law, Mike, had breathing problems and was taken to the hospital. He has blood clots in one of his lungs and they are giving him blood thinning medication and doing tests. We are still waiting on the results. Mike has been struggling with depression for the last few years as well.

Prayers/good thoughts/etc. deeply appreciated!

New Technology Assists Thieves

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 18:16:42 GMT

Passing this on from a friend:

My Dad just emailed me the following good advice & I thought I'd pass it on.

1. GPS

Our friends had their car broken into while at a football game. Their car was parked on the green adjacent to the stadium and specially allotted to football fans. Things stolen from the car included: a garage door remote control, some money and a GPS prominently mounted on the dashboard.

When the victims got home, they found that their house had been ransacked and just about everything had been stolen. The thieves used the GPS to guide them to the house ("Go Home" feature), and used the garage remote control to gain entry to the house. They knew the owners were at the game, what time the game was scheduled to finish and so they knew how much time they had to clean out the house. It would appear that they had brought a truck to empty the house of its contents.

2. MOBILE PHONE

Never thought of this: This lady has now changed her habit of how she lists her names on her mobile phone after her handbag, containing her cell phone, credit card, wallet, etc., was stolen.

20 minutes later when she called her husband, from a pay phone telling him what had happened; and he says: “I got your text asking about our Pin Number and I've replied a little while ago.” When they rushed down to the bank, they were told all the money was already withdrawn. The thief actually used the stolen cell phone to text 'hubby' in the contact list, and get the pin number. Within 20 minutes he had emptied their account.

Do not disclose relationships between you and those in your contact list. Avoid using names like Home, Honey, Hubby, Sweetheart, Dad, Mom, etc. Most importantly, when sensitive info is asked through texts, CONFIRM by calling back.

Also, if you get a text from friends or family to meet them somewhere, be sure to call back to confirm the message came from them. If you don't reach them, be very careful about going places to meet 'family and friends' who text you!

PLEASE PASS THIS ON - Be alert how you list personal information on your cell and GPS

The Body Is Too Slow For Me--Rumi

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 23:37:42 GMT

The Body is Too Slow for Me

Toward the gardens,
Toward the orchards,
I am going.
If you want to stay here,
Stay here -
I am going!
My day is dark without His Face,
Toward that bright flame
I am going.

My soul is racing ahead of me.
It says, The body is too slow for me -
I am going.

The smell of apples arises
from the orchard of my soul.
One whiff and I am gone -
Toward a feast of apples
I am going.

A sudden wind won't blow me over.
Toward Him, like a mountain of iron,
I am going.

My shirt is ripped open
with the pain of loss.
Searching for a new life,
with my head held high,
I am going.

I am fire, though I seem like oil -
Seeking to be the fuel of His fire,
I am going.

I appear as a steady mountain
Yet bit by bit,
Toward that tiny opening
I am going.

~Rumi

The Thorny Issue of Cultural Appropriation

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 23:08:24 GMT

I preface this by saying that obviously I spent years involved in a religion from another culture. At the age of 15 I wasn't aware of issues like cultural appropriation, colonization, and so on. I did think to myself that if America could send missionaries to India, it was fair play for India to have a missionary here. :)

My time in the Hare Krishna movement, known in India as Gaudiya Vaishnavism, taught me that when you take a set of spiritual beliefs out of their original context, you change them in ways you may not be aware of. You cannot divorce a religion from its culture, and someone from another culture is not going to experience it in the same way or get the subtle nuances of some practices. What you get is a slavish attention to poorly understood details, and subtle changes based on your own culture. In our case, that slavish attention to detail turned us into a cult. That said, here's the story:

There was supposed to be a "private" Burner party last Saturday night at the Bordello in Oakland, complete with three hundred guests, twenty DJs spinning thumping techno and bass, dancers, a fashion show, micro-massages, raw food, an absinthe bar, and coconuts. Instead, the event ended in tears.

continued:

More than fifty Bay Area Native American rights activists converged on the historic East Oakland property at 9:30 p.m. to ensure the shutdown of popular Burning Man group Visionary Village's "Go Native!" party. The fired-up Hopis, Kiowas and other tribal members spent more than four hours lecturing the handful of white, college-class Burners about cultural sensitivity until some of them simply broke down crying. The emotional crescendo capped a month-long saga that started with a tone-deaf dance party flyer, led to an Internet flame war and a public excoriation of Visionary Village's young, neo-hippy leaders before real tribal elders in the East Bay demanded a cancellation of the event.

The strange saga all began in early February when Visionary Village — a loose group of artists and other young people who enjoy the annual Burning Man arts festival in Nevada — began routine publicity for a Burning Man-style "private event" at the Bordello on E. 12 Street in Oakland. The online flyer circulated on Tribe.net read: "GO NATIVE" in an Old West font set against a desert sun, and the dance party was advertised as a "fundraiser for the Native American Church." Native-rights activists got wind of it and publicized additional text from the VisionaryVillage.org web site indicating four "elemental rooms" would be themed: "Water: Island Natives (Maori); Air: Cliff Natives (Anasazi); Earth: Jungle Natives (Shipibo); Fire: Desert Natives (Pueblo)." Ravers were offered a discount off the $20 door fee "if you show up in Native costume," and the money would fund "neurofeedback research demonstrating causality between medicinal use [of peyote], improved brainwave patterns, and heightened mirror neuron activity in users." The 140-year-old Bordello property abuts Interstate 880 and an ancient Ohlone Indian site dated to the 12th century B.C., which was also promoted.

By Wednesday, March 25, Native Americans across the country were seething on the comment boards, especially IndyBay.org — a popular web destination for alternative news and culture. American Indian Movement West member Mark Anquoe, a 39-year-old San Francisco resident, said he'd never seen such a swift reaction. The Burners touched a third rail when they invoked the Native American Church, which has had to fight for legal status from the United States for years. The costume discount, lumping distinct tribes in with each other and the promise of debauchery next to sacred Ohlone land, only added gasoline to the inferno. Commenters demanded that the event be canceled, started a petition amongst rights groups, and some began threatening Visionary Village with arson and rape. Among the most incendiary comments received by the Village: "YOU FUCKING CRACKKKERS[sic] ARE THE REAL DEVIL AS SPOKEN IN THE SCRIPTURE! SHIT LIKE THIS DOES NOT SUPRISE ME ONE BIT, ... I PRAY TO THE MOST HIGH THAT A METEOR WILL FALL OUT THE SKY AND HIT ... E. 12th Street AND ALL YOU FUCKING DEVILS WILL BE BURNING MEN ALRIGHT!!!!"

Anquoe said the sum of the Burners' actions turned them into a focal point for latent Indian rage over things as broad as the Cleveland Indians mascot and the Boy Scouts. "This is so many different levels all at once that the whole community from everywhere went up in flames all at once," he said.

The Burners quickly backpedaled online, signing a petition to distance the event from any Native themes and stating: "The decorations in the Air Room include a parachute. Our organizers are dressing as time-traveling aliens, Nickelodeon cartoon characters, and fire-dragons because that is how they identify their native identity. That is their NATIVE ATTIRE/COSTUME. ... Please stop slandering our event and misleading people."

But the bonfire was too big. Real Native Americans promised to protest the event and some DJs egged them on. On Friday, March 27, IndyBay reporter and UC Berkeley attendee Hillary Lehr proposed a meeting of both sides in Mosswood Park to work out their differences. Visionary Village leaders "Caapi" and Byron Page attended the meet with Anquoe and others. The Native Americans persuaded the Burners to come to the Intertribal Friendship House on International Boulevard in Oakland that night. There, they got blasted by Natives young and old for their party idea.

"They were brave for even coming," said Anquoe. "They saw the real tears of the people there and saw the heat of people's anger. The Village Elders demanded a cancellation. There was a ten-year-old girl sobbing in front of them."

Caapi and Page offered to cancel the event to wild applause, but the Native Americans planned on showing up Saturday night anyway. The event had been promoted for a month and they wanted the chance to talk to whoever showed up dressed in "native costume." More than twenty partygoers would arrive Saturday night, some in pattern-printed Hopi T-shirts or rustic, Andean fabrics and cuts, but all of them fled after hearing what was transpiring inside the Bordello.

Within the dark, labyrinthine walls of the 140-year-old former brothel, old Native Americans were lecturing young Burners on what it meant to be Indian. Lit by dim lamps under red glass lampshades, tribal elder Wounded Knee DeOcampo — wearing a black T-shirt that read "original landlord" — stood over performance artist "Cicada" in her sparkly, sheer scarf and layered hipster garb, lecturing her about his grandmother's forcible kidnapping and rape at white hands.

"There's a lot of pain," he said. "I don't want you to agree with me, I want you to understand!"

IndyBay reporter Lehr was nearby saying, "I've never seen anything like this. Their grievance is very real and it wasn't reconciled, it was escalated. We're starting to go down a long road now. It's not like everything's going to be okay. We're not going to sit around singing kumbaya."

At 10 p.m., activists and party planners sat cross-legged in a circle in the main room, lit by a lone spotlight and led by stern Intertribal Friendship House director Morning Star Gali. Native Americans vented and asked questions, while twentysomething Caapi — dressed in a Baja surf sweater — apologized profusely along with his crew. Byron Pope — noted for his Asian-Native American heritage and piercings, said he recently moved from his native Canada and was stunned at the response to his flyer. "I offer my sincere apologies. It's a different world here and I'm really learning that."

Caapi said his team's hearts were in the right place and they did not intend to steal Indian culture. "I think everyone here and inside of our community at large know how poorly promoted this event was in its iconography, in its text, in the affiliations and implications. I think perhaps after tonight the intent will be recognized for the good heartedness it was and the absence of anything resembling cultural appropriation."

But for every apology, the group often inserted a foot into its mouth. Some Burners said they'd been trained by shamans to build altars, others sang racist childhood songs, or noted the lack of Native Americans at Burning Man (which occurs on an Indian reservation). Others asked for Indian help with their Burning Man projects, prompting a Hopi woman to go off.

"I'm trying to articulate my feelings as best I can without completely losing it," she said. "What we do is not an artistic expression. And you don't have artistic license to take little pieces here and there and do what you want with it. That's something you people don't understand, probably never will understand.

"Name your little villages whatever you want, but don't ever associate it with Native Americans. Call it the Crystal Ranch or something. Call it the Mars Ranch. If you want to be spiritual — go be a Druid or something."

The back and forth went on until 1 a.m. and everyone was emotionally beaten, exhausted, and silent. No further reparations are planned, but the topic still smolders on places like Tribe.net. The organizers lost thousands of dollars in party planning fees, and face the continued ire of the Natives as well as their own Burner peers.

"Elaine" on Tribe.net writes: "Dude, don't kiss anymore ass! [Visionary Village] did nothing wrong in the first place. This whole thing is blown completely out of context and out of control. The public apologies shouldn't have to be made. Its not like the theme camp was screaming some Michael 'Kramer' Richard shit at the tribe. Sorry this is just ridiculous."

Anquoe says the non-party was a rare example of effective conflict resolution that is unique to the Bay Area, and he commends Caapi for their actions. Those bystanders who claim overreaction should reverse the situation.

"If Indian people put together a fund-raiser advertised to benefit the Catholic Church where we did our version of a Catholic Church ceremony and there wasn't actually a fund-raiser — you know what the reaction to it would be in the white community!?" he asked. "People would take legal actions against us, it would be crazy, it would be far beyond not having a party. As it is, these kids didn't get to have their party and they had to listen to Indian people being angry and that's about right for the injury they caused the Native community."

Caapi maintains that the fund-raiser for the Native American Church was genuine, and will be providing the names and phone numbers of the event's beneficiaries as soon as he can collect them all.

----
Some representative comments from different viewpoints (from ten pages of comments):

my wish for people of European descent.

reconnect with your ancestors.

"whiteness" is a social construct that erases ethnicity and ancestors. This construct leaves a lot of Euro-Americans feeling empty, and then along with the sense of entitlement that comes along with "whiteness", many begin gorging on the ways of non-white people to fill the void.

If native folks walked around saying that they are the Pope, "because they took a papacy workshop", how ridiculous would that look?

please look past the guilt of your inherited privilege, and do this important spirit work, this important SOCIAL work, so we can all heal and move forward.

Euro-America, your own ancestors cry for attention. If it is even to retrieve a lullaby that your great-grandmother sang. So much positive transformation can occur once you, as a conscious collective, reconnect with the riches of your own heritage that you have buried.

For the respect of your own bloodline, and others, please heed the call.

Comment by ancestor in training - April 14, 2009 @ 02:21 PM
-----------

Another comment:

To clarify, the organizers from Visionary Village do not represent Burning Man nor are they affiliated with the organization that puts on that event. They are simply among the 50K people who attend it.

We hope all parties have found satisfactory resolution, and we hope it is clear that the actions of Visionary VIllage's organizers were in no way representative of Burning Man.

Comment by Andie Grace - April 7, 2009 @ 09:21 AM
------------

Yet another:

For the record, Burning Man takes place on federal land managed by the Bureau of Land Management - who charges us a butt-load of money for the privilege. There was talk a few years ago of moving it to the Pyramid Lake reservation when relations with Washoe County officials were particularly strained, but that all got worked out. From what I heard, the Pyramid Lake tribe was seriously considering hosting Burning Man, but that sentiment was in no way unanimous.

Local tribal members, of the Pyramid Lake Paiute, have participated in Burning Man through bringing educational material about the land and pre-white incursion history to share with Black Rock City's predominantly white population. While they often don't stay for more than a few hours, and seem rather uncomfortable during that time, they have participated with honor and respect for our wildly diverse community; their voice is definitely part of the emerging story of Burning Man.

I'm glad energy and education was released in an overall positive way for all concerned in Oakland, even if this slant journalism would have liked it otherwise.

Comment by FireHorse - April 4, 2009 @ 03:53 PM

-----------------
Some comic relief:

Aye, this exploitation of cultures has gone far enough! As a full-blooded Scotsman, every time I see someone abusin' a kilt , I cringe inside. Ever since the thrice-damned English cleared my lands to raise their thrice-damned black-faced sheep, you people have been exploiting me and mine. Our lands are still held by the English conquerers and the injustice continues! There's more to Scotland than kilts and haggis and claymores, and we'll carry this hundreds of years old grudge for generations if we have to (never mind that the conquering culture is just as dead as the conquered now -- progress and all that)!

-- Angus

Comment by Angus - April 3, 2009 @ 07:43 AM
------
Another:

The Bay has one of the strongest and more outspoken Native communities with many of us coming together from all over the Western Hemisphere. Only articulate pleas to reconsider this from our point-of-view were communicated from the main body of protest. The pleas were heard, considered and deemed worthy of respect so they decided to end the event in support of our beliefs rather than make a mockery of them by continuing the event. Say what you will, but it takes real true character to make a decision to cancel an event that might disappoint a few party goers in order to respect our very private cultures and sacred traditions that are still so proudly in existence today.

Comment by ricktor - April 2, 2009 @ 11:52 AM
------------

Another:

Ok, so this means if someone is not Italian/American they're not allowed to make spaghetti or believe in Jesus? Does it mean that I can't practice Tibetan Buddhism unless I'm pure blood Tibetan? I can't write a French cookbook unless I'm French? I can't play or listen to Celtic music unless I'm Irish? I can't wear khakis and a Ralph Lauren shirt unless I'm a blue blood WASP?

Come on, everyone, it's 2009, not 1959. 7 million Americans are of blended cultures and mixed race. According to Marie Claire magazine,"This year, mixed-race kids (under 18) make up the fastest-growing segment of the population."

I was at a Burning Man party last week where the DJ lineup included Cheb i Shabbah (Middle Eastern) and Lokesh (Indian), a Hungarian singer, a belly dancer, an anglo guy playing Digeridoo... I chatted with three dentists who were from Afghanistan, a rasta-braided mixed part African American/Latin guy and several people who were part Asian.

We've got a Rainbow president and it's a Rainbow world now...let's stop defining everyone by the clothes they wear and putting them into boxes of "you can't do this unless you were born into it."

That kind of separatism is where the Caste system comes from.

We are evolving, and as we evolve, we're blending many cultures into One World where hopefully we can all coexist in peace.

Comment by Burner Chic - April 1, 2009 @ 10:57 PM

------
Another:

This article represents a sensationalized depiction of the events that unfolded around the Go Native fundraiser. It is full of fabrications, incorrect information, and represents and incomplete representation of the truth. This is a sad example of the media playing up drama around an event for the sake of attracting readers. I was present at the event and spoke although I was not directly involved in organizing the event.

For example:
“There was supposed to be a "private" Burner party last Saturday” In fact the invitation went out to a broad audience, and anyone who attended would have been admitted.

“tribal members spent more than four hours lecturing the handful of white, college-class Burners about cultural sensitivity until some of them simply broke down crying.” In fact the organizers have a broad spectrum of ages, most of them are college graduates, and none of them cried. At least none where seen to visibly weep during the public discussion. Several are multi-racial individuals.

“Ravers were offered a discount” In fact this was not a rave. This was a dance party, similar to the ones that go on in countless locations every weekend across the bay area.

“tribal elder Wounded Knee DeOcampo … stood over performance artist "Cicada" … lecturing her about his grandmother's forcible kidnapping and rape at white hands.” In fact while a stern discussion took place, many who attended the event do not recall any statements of this nature. This is a fabrication and misrepresentation of the truth. The dichotomy the author is attempting to create here is for purely sensational purposes and not factually based.

“activists and party planners sat cross-legged in a circle in the main room, lit by a lone spotlight”. In fact while the lighting was not great in the room the event was held in, there where multiple lights.

“No further reparations are planned,” In fact the discussions continue between the organizers and the Native American community as to what can be done to heal from the conflict and bring greater understanding and cultural sensitivity to future events and interactions. The night ended with desires by both communities to continue the healing process.

So nice job, David, for writing a sensational article that does more to misrepresent the events surrounding the Go Native event than offer a clear depiction of facts. Your depiction only contributes to the tension that remains after what has transcribed by continuing to perpetuate the misunderstanding. What actually happened was that two groups of people came together to have a discussion in hopes of coming away with greater understanding of the other and avoiding conflict in the future. You are in fact demonstrating the same insensitivity and lack of consciousness that you are reviling in the article.

Comment by Soulrider - April 1, 2009 @ 05:46 PM
------
Another correction:

I am Elaine, and the comment attributed to me in this article was not said by me.
I was quoting the words of another poster from eariler in that particular thread in tribe.net and replying. Perhaps David Downs should have read the entire thread before flinging quotes around.
I am no way involved in this event nor the people involved. I don't much care to be involved, really. I live along long way from here and had actually forgotten this was happening as I have other things to do. However, misquoting someone, when it is extremely easy to recheck the source of that quote is rather shoddy journalism,, in my opinion.

So yeah- a grain of salt regarding who says what here might be applicable in this situation.

.Hope this all gets worked out to the benefit of all.

Comment by bitermonkey - April 1, 2009 @ 03:16 PM
-----

Another comment:

I'm a (white) Burner and a SF resident, and I have to agree with the Native Americans that this shit is totally out of control. The new age movement and its modern Burner incarnation love to appropriate other cultures in a nasty way that actually causes damage to those cultures. In the case of Native Americans, this sort of attitude is perpetuating a 500-year-old history of abuse and genocide.

Kudos to the event organizers for actually canceling and making some vague attempt to learn about this shit. Though it's really just a first step.

To other Burners out there: please learn not to appropriate ideas, clothing, and artifacts from other cultures. This means:

1) Don't dress in clothing that is from another culture. I don't care if you think it makes you look exotic.

2) Don't hold parties or other events themed around cultures that are not your own.

3) Don't pretend that your ideas and practices have some crazy history from some exotic foreign culture. Because they don't. Also, don't steal ideas or practices from other places. Insist on only respectfully learning practices and ideas from people who are actually from the culture in question. Do not turn around and try to re-teach.

I mean really, we're Burners. We're supposed to be all creative and we're supposed to be creating NEW culture, not stealing from others. So let's get creative and make new clothing, hold totally new events, create new culture, and so on.

Pepper

Comment by pepomint - April 1, 2009 @ 02:34 PM
---
another comment:

Burning Man takes place on a large expanse of desert surrounded by Paiute Indian reservations. It is said (ancedotally) that this is sacred Paiute land, but they must mean the hotsprings there, not the flat playa, because it is one of the most inhospitable places on earth. By the way, the Burners are meticulous about clean up. Statues are burned on platforms -- not the soil. All gray water is collected and hauled out. Every strand of string, every thread, every piece of feather or glitter is hauled out. The BM crew hauled tons of garbage, beds, old cars, tires, etc. that was out there long before Burning Man ever began. The BM organization has donated significant funds to local Paiute reservation schools, including a solar array and thousands of bicycles.

Comment by Burner Chic - April 1, 2009 @ 02:02 PM

#amazonfail from a business perspective

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 09:34:24 GMT

http://www.humansatwork.com/the-lessons-of-amazonfail/

Monumental customer service screw up, basically. Amazon has failed to actually address the issue of the policy, ask us if we want or need for them to limit some books or products from searches, seems to have no clue about how they interact with both customers and the publishing industry as a whole, and failed to simply talk to us directly, on their site, and fully explain what happened.

Until or unless Amazon indicates that it is abandoning any such policy, NO MATTER HOW IT'S IMPLEMENTED, they will not get my business. I don't care if all glbt books are restored--it's not acceptable to me if ANY books fail to appear in one of my searches. Let me decide if it's appropriate for me or not. I'm an adult. Treat me like one.

Twittermania

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 06:04:09 GMT

08:46 #amazonfail they respond saying they're working on "glitch," but it's the policy itself that must end no matter how it's implemented.
08:48 #amazonfail www.minalhajratwala.com/blog/ reports that one can now search for glbt books but sales ranks still gone, affecting sales.
09:06 Great open letter to #amazonfail : tinyurl.com/d5gqy8
09:11 Stupid idea anyway to limit access to "adult" content during a recession, no matter how you do it. #amazonfail
09:17 Excellent overview of #amazonfail to date: tinyurl.com/ck2khu Lots of good links. Can't believe nothing on homepage about this yet.
09:20 Apparently, #amazonfail wants to protect disabled people from having sex, too. tinyurl.com/dlpebh Really, WTF?
09:31 Queer scifi writers affected by #amazonfail too: io9.com/5209403/ authors respond
09:36 #amazonfail on #disability too. Please RT both is.gd/s5I6 and is.gd/s5Xr #glitchmyass #glbt #disabled
09:41 #amazonfail When are we going to see a public apology on homepage and retraction of adult content policy altogether?
09:42 @MariAdkins I wish more people understood how publishing works--they'd be even more outraged.
14:33 Even the Christian Science Monitor has an article about #amazonfail tinyurl.com/djczpe
15:27 alt to #amazonfail www.powells.com/section/GayandLesbianStudies.html
15:27 @jessibird never too much fun!
15:38 #amazonfail rep says it's not a glitch: tinyurl.com/ca83lf
16:00 #amazonfail "hamfisted" explanation doesn't say there isn't a de-ranking policy, just that it was badly implemented bit.ly/vQgki

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