If you have followed the link from my guest posts on the No Longer Quivering blog, you may be interested in my other memoir entries, the links to which can be found here. Please keep in mind that these are rough drafts intended to establish the sequence of events and reveal some of the themes of my writing. The finished product may look very different. I am also not putting everything online for obvious reasons.

I should be clear that not all of my material is about the Hare Krishna movement. That is one period of my life, certainly, and for the NLQ blog I have discussed the movement in some depth since it was relevant. But my life is about more than my time in ISKCON and I hope to put it in context in my finished memoir.

I can't believe it took me so long to hear about this:

http://www.paperbackswap.com/

Thank you, songtoisis

I was responding today to a young woman who grew up in a Quiverfull family. She was bemoaning the state of her divorced family with her younger siblings visiting their dad (her stepdad who was highly critical of her all of her life) and how alone she was at Christmas. This brought to mind a book about family and solo rituals and traditions that I used heavily when my children were still at home. We went through a lot of changes, from married to single-parent household, from Hare Krishna to pagan, and so on.

Here is what I posted on the forum:

As a young mom I bought this book years ago (still available used) called Rituals For Our Times by Evan Imber-Black and Janine Roberts. The subtitle is Celebrating, Healing and Changing Our Lives and Our Relationships. I can't recommend this book enough for people blending traditions from families or going through changes in their lives. I've read it many times and used the very sensible advice to create or change my own family traditions over the years. It's enabled me to be flexible and really think about the meaning and purpose behind the rituals. The examples in the book are very relevant to our multi-cultural society. There are even some good rituals for those who are divorced or blending new families together and advice on how to handle a death in the family as it affects gatherings.

I cannot recommend this book enough. These authors really thought of everything.

For a witchy book on rituals (that includes life transitions as well) you might check out Dancing Up the Moon: A Woman's Guide to Creating Traditions That Bring Sacredness to Daily Life by Robin Heerens Lysne.

I wrote the following review on Amazon:

This book gave me lots of ideas for creating personal rituals as well as rituals for family and friends. Lysne gives many examples of rituals for passages that our culture doesn't have a ritual for, guidance on how to create rituals, examples of ritual elements, and so on. I've referred to it many times over the years and loaned it out to people going through experiences that they wished to create a ritual for. I've never seen another book cover ritual for miscarriage and abortion or help couples ending their relationship celebrate the positive aspects even as they sever the ties that bound them. Ritual plays a vital role in our lives and to be given the tools to shape rituals that meet our needs is an incredible gift. I will be forever grateful to Ms. Lysne for writing this guide.

Or, how to be sensitive to those who just aren't having a happy holiday.

You know, if my prescription list were blasted over the media I'd look like quite the druggie too, but I rarely use the intoxicating meds and only when absolutely necessary. I hate the effect. I think the rush to judgment over Brittany Murphy's death is all about distancing ourselves from our own fears or from caring. If we can say she did it to herself we are more removed and feel safe. RIP, Brittany.

We always had Christmas dinner on Christmas eve. Years later I met a woman from Germany who described her family traditions, common in her region. The tree wasn't brought in until just before Christmas eve and the adults would decorate it in secret. Because it was fresh and still damp outside and had retained moisture internally, they would put candles on it, real candles, and it wouldn't burn down the tree or the house. Then the children were ushered in and it was like a scene from a magic fairy land with the candles and the beautiful branches and presents.

It made me realize that it was probably the influence of the Elschlager side of our family that caused us to always celebrate on Christmas Eve. We didn't have a cool, live tree like that. We had the silver tree with the color wheel, though I remember being fascinated by the colors moving over the tree. At home we had the same kind of thing except Mom had pink bulbs instead of the red ones at Grandma's. I guess with allergies a natural tree wouldn't have worked well for us.

Our meal invariably had Grandma's home-made egg noodles in turkey broth, turkey, stuffing, a baked sweet potato casserole, mashed potatoes, and gravy. I think some one broke out cranberry from a can but I never liked it. I think other vegetables made an appearance. We didn't have the green bean casserole everyone talks about but Grandma knew I liked green beans, and carrots, so some of these would make their way into these dinners some years. Sometimes Aunt Gin would bring a salad when she was dieting. Oh and there would be cookies and fudge and pies. Grandma could produce enormous amounts of food over a couple of days for this. It used to be my cousins (the ones who aren't speaking to me) and their mom and dad (Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Wayne) would be there, along with Great Grandma (Pearl Paris Elschlager) after Great Grandpa died. (His death put quite a damper on Christmas because he died Christmas day, 1965.) Once in awhile if they were in the area Uncle George and Aunt Pauline would come with their son David. They lived in California most of the time I was growing up.

After dinner we would all be groaning and unbuttoning our top button on our pants or loosening our belts, LOL.

"The sky and its stars make music to you.
The sun and the moon praise you.
The gods exalt you.
The goddesses sing to you."
Inscription on a wall of the temple of Hathor, Egypt, 2nd cent. B.C.

I say I'm 10 when I'm 9 and half.
My Uncle Tells a joke and I try to laugh
In gym I fake a headache, but I want to quit
I say I love the sweater that my Grandma knit.

But that was...

Chorus 1:

A white lie
(Sing as echo in "Lie To Me" epsisode the children sing this part) White Lie
That's a white lie
(Sing as echo) white lie
That's the kind you want to tell
(Children sing too) A white lie
So your mom won't have to yell
A white lie
(sing echo) White Lie
Everybody does it cause it feels alright and it's more polite
But a lies still a lie, even when it's white

I pretend I'm asleep when my dad walk's in
I said I ate my chicken, but I just ate the skin
You speak and say your lie and when your mouth says not
Your pants are on fire, but their not too hot

When it's a...

Chorus 2

White Lie
(sing echo) White Lie
It's the kind you want to tell
A white lie
So your dad won't have to yell
A white lie
(sing echo) white lie
Everybody does it, cause it feels alright and it's more polite
but a lie's still a lie, even when it's white

While it might be hard, to say what's true,
would you want a white lie told to you?

This week Vyckie Garrison over at No Longer Quivering is posting my Body Image Workshop on her blog. Formerly it was available on her forum but she felt it deserved more attention. :)

So, here is the first installment and the link that will take you to the posts all week: Tapati's Body Image Workshop.

"Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us." ~Voltaire

A fantasy author, Shanna Swendson, has been posting about the business and process of writing every Wednesday and has compiled those posts in a .PDF for our convenience.

You can find it HERE.

It's a treasure trove of good advice on everything from actual writing to finding an agent, working contacts at conferences, formatting your manuscript, and anything else we asked about or that was likely to be of interest to someone pursuing a writing career.

Enjoy!

( Read more... )

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The latest installment in my story for the No Longer Quivering blog has been posted.

When The Levee Breaks covers my late pregnancy, homeless and sleeping in a friend's cement-floored, unheated laundry room. I have added some detail into the story so even if you read an earlier version you will find some new material.

Hildegard of Bingen, Spiritus Sanctus

-Trigger warning-



Patric Stewart: The Legacy of Domestic Violence

Thank you, Mr. Stewart, for telling so vividly the child's view of domestic violence. That couldn't have been an easy thing for you to do.

And would like to support my daughter's new home business, please order online through her. Below is her website:

Ramya Duron, Avon Representative

If you get on her mailing list there are often deals on free shipping.

Her grandma also sold Avon and I imagine is beaming with pride wherever in the cosmos she might be.

Avon has added some "natural" preservative free products for those of you who are sensitive to such things. I'm going to try some out.

I don't really celebrate Thanksgiving but I get invited to gatherings of family and I go because I love them. Personally it just makes me think of all the injustices our ancestors perpetrated on the people who shared food with them and welcomed their trade. I also can't really enjoy a holiday that is so identified with animal slaughter we call it "Turkey Day."

However, this particular Thanksgiving we are going to get to see my grandsons, who were living in Salt Lake City, Utah, and are now much closer to us while they stay with their dad.

So my heart is singing today for my beloved grandsons.

I hope you all are having a peaceful and love-filled day. Good food can't hurt either (in moderation).